The writing mood is here. Keep going!
My first Umra was on October 2003. It was the time when I finally decided to wear jilbab. It had some impacts on few things, including this problem.
I did not know how it worked, but right after I returned, I started receiving few unknown texts from I didn’t know who, some guys asked to be introduced to me from my roommates, and so on. But, there was a distinguish newcomer on my second semester.
Having written these, I don’t intend to remember those men but more to explain where I and the doctor were during these college years and what happened to us. So, after telling about them, I will continue about him.
This man was from other major but often had same class with my major. During first and second semester we had about more than 2 same classes in a week. I did not notice him at all till my roommate which happened to be his classmate, told me there was someone who had been asking her about me.
I didn’t really remember how we finally get introduced. What I remembered most that he was very straight forward. After the doctor, he was the next one who slipped out a marriage idea to me. It was even weirder for me since he didn’t even know me, at all. Just few months after we knew each other, he suddenly talked about the marriage which I found it quite annoying.
Facing this person, I had been even more to the point. Told him I didn’t have any interest to have close relationship till I finished my study, so he could not expect more.
I refused this one for the same reason like I had with my senior. I was pretty sure, I would never return the feeling to him. There were quite lots of things that I didn’t really keen of him. I disliked some his ways in persuading me. It was pushy. Not good at all. I remembered quarelling with him over some matters. Like one day he insisted to accompany me to fetch the textbooks for my teaching class in other faculty. I refused it and spent almost half an hour to argue with him. I wouldn’t give up since I knew that once I said yes to him, he would ask for another thing. And I won the fought;))
He was there all the time during college, and still tried enough even after we graduated. Had been continously trying to change my answer for 4-5 years, but, I just could not.
We were still fine in early of second semester, but I really didn’t know what happened after that. I believed it must had been something big since I stopped writing on my diary for 5 months. I really can’t tell what was going on since I didn’t write anything. But, I believed it was not good. Maybe that was our biggest first cold war:(
If I was not mistaken, it was April 2004 when I stopped writing and we just resumed our usual conversation near Ramadhan on November. Pretty much,right?
Eventough I didn’t really know what happened back then, I clearly remembered how uneasy it was to be in that state with him.
A bit depressing and frustrating..