As any other things that never come easy in my story, breastfeeding is no exception.
I did IMD and breastfeed Langit directy just few hours after her birth. Only the second day, the milk was not flowing at all, but on the third day, my breasts largened and it hurt a lot.
The first month of breastfeeding, Langit only could breastfeed from the left breast because she couldn’t latch properly on the right side. We tried hard, everytime she breastfed. Left side didn’t latch easily too. At least it took 3-5 minutes to latch on properly. Trust me, those minutes were very long. But it was easier compared to the right side which took us 15 minutes to achieve that. Or worse, we dropped it. It was very frustrating. Seriously. I remembered when I looked at the mirror, both breast were clearly on a different size. Big and small.
We just made it with the right side on the middle of second month. Another problem came. On her first month, Langit’s weight didn’t progress well and the pediatrician suggested to boost it in two weeks, and if there was still no improvement, mix it with formula was the solution.
The pediatrician was not the only one that suggested the idea. Even le husband did too. I was trying hard to breastfeed her very often and pumped it when I went working. Woke up in the midnight was no longer a problem as long as she could do better.
When I pumped the breastmilk, it also didn’t boost my confidence. I pumped it for two or three hours and all I got was 30 ml. Yep, that much. It only made those people.around me suggested formula harder. When I was asking my sister in law how long and how much she pumped the breast milk and her answered was : 120 ml in 10 minutes.
I really didn’t know what to say. Like really? 10 minutes for 120 ml? I spent 12 times longer and produced 4 times less?
The only good thing was my stubborness. I was, am and will never giving up about something that I really believe and want. As I believed and wanted to do exclusive breastfeeding, I did any way possible to make it happen. Eat well, rest well, read any information about that would help. I lowered my expectation about doing two full years of breastfeeding, instead focused on these first six months.
Slowly but sure, Langit showed good progress. Actually, she was doing good, it was just only her weight didn’t as much as her height. But, it was doing okay according to pediatrician. Alhamdulillah, Langit didn’t taste any formula during the first six months of her life.
Up until this 9 months, we’re still do breastfeeding and I still don’t find this easy. Breastfeeding really needs persistence, determination, and strong willingness from the mother. Not using any excuses since there are many if you want to. It is very true that the hardest battle is the one you do with yourself.
Currently writing this next to sleepy cranky Langit who hasn’t slept since her lunch. Although we did twice long breastfeed already, it doesn’t seem enough to make her sleep. So, I am watching this baby sitting on her bouncer grumpily. She is still so cute with her grumpy face.
Let’s keep trying hard, baby! We’re getting there. 12 months of full breastfeeding, we’re looking forward to meet you!