Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

The First Amazing Year

Alhamdulillah. Woohooo!

Say cheers to the first year!!!

If there were a CV needed for parenting job, I would surely put this one on the achievements box : Going through the first year safe and sound.

Being a mother for only a year might be nothing for others who have been on this bussiness longer. But for me, safely landed at this first year is another greatest journey I’ve ever had other than the Hajj with my mum.

It isn’t surely one without any bumps or turbulences. There were a lot, for sure. But, Alhamdulillah, all three passengers are well. Very well.

It made me reflect a lot about my mother. It made me missing her even more. Having your mother beside you, once you become a mother yourself is a blessing. Although it’s not always rainbow, still it’s very much a big deal. A presence always be better than an absence.

It made me wonder how she was doing well with three of us while I often feel one is more than enough. It made me really want to meet her more and tell her about many things inside my head like these ones above :

I’d like to tell her how hard it has been since she’s gone.

How I have been taking care of everything that she once did, which are a lot and not easy sometimes.

Other than that, I would also brag her about something which I think I have been doing good.

Tell her about how I proudly breastfeed Langit in spite of the hardships, one year and still counting.

Tell her about how I endure feeding which I dislike three times a day and no matter what, I won’t give up.

Tell her Alhamdulillah Langit has been healthy, hasn’t tasted any medecine because of an illness, and she grows up well. She must be very happy if she were here. My daughter is a cute one, mom.

Tell her, I have been doing okay with le husband. Although, the turbulences are many but still tolerable.

Other thing is I want to apologize.
Apologize to her for any hardships she had been going through because of me.

Last, I want to thank her for raising me very well. I really hope I will do as good as her.

—————————–

To the birthday girl,

Heyho, Baby! I really have so much to say. I don’t think a blogpost can cover it all.

I won’t tell any false sweet words just because it’s your birthday. Because all things happened on this first year are not all sweets. But, one thing I can say for sure, you have been very good to me. Very much better than I have been to you. It broke my heart when I remembered those times whenever I yelled, shouted, and being angry to you. Yes, I was (still) very far from good. Sorry.

You have been doing good in everything. You nailed almost every milestones. You didn’t give me that GTM phase like other baby did in feeding, you kept being healthy and didn’t let me spend more money on the pediatrician others than the vaccine shots you should have. You seem to understand very well since daddy is still doing his residency, money matters to us. You’re being healthy along this first year is such a big help to your parents.

You’re surely growing up fast. From that tiny little baby that I even too scare to hold and now you are becoming this big girl that I often feel too heavy to hold (for a long period of time). You sit, crawl, babbling, grabbing things, clapping hands and so many little things that you do that make me happy. You even start walking one or two steps before you’re really turning one! Me is very proud of you.

Beyond those achievements that you do, I am really lucky just to have you. I’ve never been learning so much more than this first year together with you. I really thank you for that.

Well, guess it will be too long if I keep writing everything here. Let’s just wrap it, shall we?

Happiest birthday, Langit Senja Almakirana. I wish you health and happiness throughout your life. Hope you keep growing well, be kind and tough. May Allah protects you wherever you are.

I hope I will be granted enough time to raise you well. Amin.

Much love,

Mommy.

image
The smiling birthday girl

——————————

“There is no other job more physically and emotionally taxing than parenting on the first year”
(What to Expect the First Year)

Toddler years, bring it on!

Author:

Pas special, J'ai seulement besoin de beaucoup de privee

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