Having a baby whose father is currently doing residency makes one often feels like a single parent.
If someone ask me which group of mother I belong to, I am a full time mom and housewife and part time teacher. I decided to quit school job since it must be done in the morning. With all these baby stuff to do almost alone, it seems impossible for me to work in the morning. My hands are full enough.
Taking care three men and a baby are not something easy to deal with,but it’s still doable, with half sanity. But, when the time it feels very hard, I can’t help feeling angry with the situation. Of course, it’s le husband who will have to listen to my complaints. Who else?
Mostly, le husband is absence at the maximum of 15 days per month. The most stressful one I have been going through was the second month after Langit came and le husband had out of town shift for a month. I faced EVERYTHING alone. The tiring growth spurt, stayed awake all night long until morning, the anxiety of pediatrician visit, while at the same time, took care the other stuff at home. I decided to go back working after second month. It just added up my tasks and often drove me crazy. But, having no income from both of us in a month, merely survived by the saving, it made me even crazier. Beside, doing other thing outside home, at least it helped me to breath for awhile.
Even after one year, there are times I feel so stuffy. Especially after feeding started. It’s getting more and more work to do. When someone asked me about hiring some helps, it wasn’t that I won’t. But , I just can’t. For many reasons that I won’t discuss here. So, it is actually my own choice too dealing with all these craziness alone.
Taking care this baby for a year makes me realize how hard to raise a single little baby. I wonder how the real single parents out there do it alone. It makes me become less judgmental. And less lazier to give unnecessary comments about how ones parent their children. I believe every mother has been tired enough without having more judgements from others.
Is all that hard?
I have been going through this first year with lots of little helps that matter. Helps from the visible ones and the invisible ones. For that, I have been so grateful. Langit won’t do this well without all those helps.
I really hope to be granted more patience and endurance to face for more years to come. More challenges to overcome and hopefully passing all the exams with flying colors. Amin.
Breath in, breath out, FIGHTING!!