After some times, I realized that life mostly really happens in an even year more than the odd one. Looking back to previous years, lots of big events, life-changing ones, turn-table twists, they were mostly happened in even years.
To name several :
- Meeting the doctor for the first time in 2002 as well as the end of my 13 years of piano education.
- The first job secured in 2004 during the first year of college.
- Survived two months in a small village with the best strangers as well as the ‘loudest’ year of proposals in 2006
- The worst and longest broken heart in 2008. This year marked the second hardest year in my twenties. The first goes to next foyr years.
- The reunited, long distance, and resuming in 2010. Talking about the relationship here.
- Finally, 2012 turned out to be a year with three earthquakes in my world, as well as the life-changing year. The end of an era. The end of my comfort zone. Life has never been the same after 2012. It was just like the Mayans prophecy predicted that world would end in 2012. At least, mine did.
Langit Senja came in 2014. A whole new beginning to the jungle of motherhood. Entering the fourth year, this jungle is truly wild, scary emotionally and energy draining, physically taxing, and no one is close to a winning. Really, there’s no better mother than another. You win some, yet you couldn’t help losing in another game.
Fast forward to 2016. A year that thought to be another mundane year yet, it was wrong. Went through first semester safely, then two big presents sent from the universe. Broken relationship and unlocked third biggest twenties dream.
Now, it’s 2018 and the pattern repeats. Currently dealing with medium long distance relationship which airline ticket price costs us a lot. Two flights needed that make the saving screams a lot and this one will last for a year. One might say years are short, but they really forget that days can be so long. Days in this April feel exactly like that.
The advice of count your blessing is not really applicable during this state. I do count mine, yet it doesn’t make this feel any easier. This is not our first encounter with distance yet, again, having previous experiences is not necessarily make you stronger. Being away from one of the sanity keepers is hard enough.
Other circumstances also happen until I have to have another long distance with my other sanity keeper called dramaland. It’s been six months already that I totally cut the tie with those fellows from dramaland. No matter how much and want to return, the mood is really gone. Current affairs in works and other tasks have eaten all my energy and mood.
There’s nothing I hope for other than this April will soon meet its end. At least, passing through April safely means the big part of these shits is gone.
Breathe in, breathe out.
When life throws shits to your face, wipe it cleanly and keep going slowly.
You’ll get there.