Posted in Thoughts

Change of Heart

After letting go lots of meaningful and important things in life that have been around for years, or almost a whole of my age, last month, slowly, the heart starts adapting well to new changes. For someone who is always holding on something for a long time,the way this heart changes is quite surprising.

Used to against the old quote saying that home is where the heart is and it’s not about the place. Stayed in the same house for more than 30 years, then how come home was not about the place? Many important moments in life took place there. But, maybe I forget something : what makes a home is the people inside. So when the people were gone, the feeling followed.

The change of home brings new findings too. I had always been afraid of either basement or high level parking. Never bring a car to any places when I know the parking doesn’t provide land parking. But then, in this new home, I finally overcome the fear after years. I finally nail sharp climbing to the upper level parking, although everytime I do it, I pray loudly, take my breath slowly and spell many zikir until it is safe enough.

In this new home, I find more time for my self. Especially in the morning and after a long tiring day. Morning rush feels more comfortable since I only take care two easy girls like me and my daughter when the doctor is not around.

It’s quite hard to believe that now I feel more comfortable staying in my new home than the one I had been staying for more than thirty years. Although I still visit it often and some parts of my needs depend on there, but staying overnight doesn’t feel the same anymore. Surprisingly, Langit feels the same way too since she keeps telling me to go back to her new home when we stay for few hours in her old one.

I came to realize although it might be not always pleasant, but some changes are unavoidable and needed to continue life. To see the next new best things life offers ahead. To grab and learn new opportunities to grow.

Staying long in comfort zones is still my favorite place to be. The place where I have luxuries to not doing things I have to do alone in my new home. But, some changes that have been offered along my life, it brought more blessings and surely are much better than my fears. Who knows in few years I turn out to be an acceptable cook when the situation makes me do it? Cooking is never my thing. It’s sad because I was born from a very great one. The greatest well known cook in family. If it really comes true, then I believe that miracle does exist.

Pray for more strengths as few more major changes might have taken place this year.

It’s scary.


Pas special, J'ai seulement besoin de beaucoup de privee

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