Some periods of life are meant to be fully living while some other periods are dedicated for surviving.
In spite of knowing both will come and be on repeat like a cycle, it doesn’t make the heart becomes lighter when the low starts rolling.
In spite of knowing that the anxiety and the worry won’t change anything, they are still here and make the sunny days seem gloomier.
Currently, it feels like living in limbo for many reasons. It’s period of waiting during transition, unclear of many next things to come and it’s totally uncomfortable. It feels like losing control and peace of mind feels too far to reach. Everything seems fall into a wrong place.
You fear what you don’t know, they said. Obtaining big chunks of information becomes my self-therapy and it works for short period of time. But the dark clouds always return somehow.
Basically, I knew all the theory to deal with this. Accepting that these days are the low ones and it won’t be here forever, what’s so hard about that? But, living day by day with this heavy heart, wake up with no courage, bed time becomes an escape, it is scary.
When the wheels are on the low,
Day walks too slow.
The wind won’t blow.
Night runs too fast
As if it’s being chased
But, we know this too shall pass.