It was only last week I wrote about online lesson here and today I felt the strong urge to throw another ranting about this.
Today was the second online lesson with the new teacher from some school and I was already far too dissapointed. Lesson should be done for 20 minutes and it was so unbelievable that the teacher abruptly ended it ten minutes earlier. How, how in the world, someone who’s profesionally paid to do the job could behave so unprofesionally? More, she is with a well-known special education school.
When I brought this through text her reply was even more dissapointing. Said that because it was only for the beginning so it could end earlier.
The lesson is only for 20 minutes and she even wanted to shorten it? I felt like boiling kettle when I read the reply.
I couldn’t help sending an email to the school about this. I might sound so annoying over 10 minutes. But, should we always be tolearable for what is wrong in this country? Those 10 minutes were ours. We paid for that.
This place is one of the places in this country which I considered run by people who highly held their reputation and credibility in special field education. Or so I thought. Giving the student the right amount of time they deserve for the lesson is the most basic thing they should do.
But, today, from one of their representatives, it was clearly shown, keeping the standard could be their serious homeworks to do. We might be just the unlucky one to meet such teacher. But, if it’s not us, it could happen to other student.
It might sound snobbish, but after all things happened last year, looking from afar, compared to other societies, and again, reading a lot, we really have serious problems about the basics in our society.
We really have problem in making, meeting, and doing the basics right. From a simple thing like being on time, not taking other’s belonging, be it time or things, we truly have problems on that. As I wrote in this long post last year, for me, the story above is just a tiny return of investment from our education system.
Remember, we don’t only pay for what we did, but more importantly, we pay also for what we didn’t do.
It’s quite frustrating living in this untrustable society. We couldn’t really depend on the smallest thing like they will give what we deserve after paid for something. I’ve known for long that we could never have a trustable government even until 100 years later, but, deep inside, I still spare some hope for the people.
We tried our best to teach the little girl about the basics for these first years of her life. Both basic values and basic skills. One of the reasons I stay with her because I don’t want to outsource such important job that would become the foundation that she will bring for the rest of her life. We have no nanny, partly because we try to minimalize the chance for her to see examples that might not suit our values (other than I couldn’t stand the drama, of course).
Although I (and we) lack of many things, at least, she deals with the lacking standard of her parents, not others. There is still some chance to change and improve ourselves for her sake, but it will be too much hardwork (without guaranteed result) or might be close to impossible to ask others to change and suit themselves with our values, no matter how much we pay for them.
We’ve tried our best to choose well the ‘village’ she’s growing up in, within our power. Choosing the residence area, school, and the extracurriculars activities carefully, hoping she will meet, at least, the people who value similar important things. Hoping the hardwork done at home could be applied too outside.
This dissappointment is quite heart-breaking for me. It could mean another battle questioning to stay or leave and start again from zero. Worse, not knowing where to go anymore.
I feel like replaying the scene few years back when I threw a tantrum in one of the SLT’s places where the person in charge was busy looking at his phone for 45 minutes out of 60 minutes of the session. He just neglected the little girl, let her doing nothing. Maybe that was the first time I confronted someone directly. Loud and clear.
If there’s any new things that I discovered after motherhood, the silent and conflict-avoidance in me could turn into a boiling kettle when it is about my child. Only now I fully understand everything that my mother had been done for me in some situations regarding my problems in the past.
But, my mother was born a boiling kettle, unlike me who’s more like a teapot. It really takes a huge amount of courage to transform from a teapot to boiling kettle. I am totally i uncomfortable being a boiling kettle. Being loud, fussy and noisy to strangers are not my forte. But, it seems the only way to be heard.
I still refuse to lower my standard for the basics, because I don’t want the little girl to go even lower just for the sake of adjusting to other people. I don’t want her to ‘accept’ it is okay for being 5 minutes late, it is okay to take other’s belonging, be it time or things, I want her to keep on the track as much as she can, to do what’s right, not easy.
And those are one toughest job to do.
I hope the boiling kettle inside of me won’t be used often in the future. But, when I have to, I hope the sound will be nice and clear, and only serve those who deserve it.