Certain period of days in life were running in smooth, calm, and lack of turbulence manners while the other period is dedicated to deal with some uninvited guests called problems.
It’s funny that certain bad days came without announcement, without particular briefing. As if someone pushed the button to switch from calm to heavy rain or storm within few seconds.
Like few nights ago, after the shift ended at 8pm (bed time for the little girl) and I was so ready to return to rest and reading, some notifications displayed on the phone showed that the tiny-bussiness-messenger number that had been used for 4 years suddenly gone. Checked to the store provider on the following day and it was already taken by someone else. That was it.
Surely part of the fault was on me who didn’t top up the card since last months in London. So paying the consequences of changing number was the only way to deal with it.
You don’t know what you got till it’s gone, the song said.
That afternoon it was raining hard and off we went to the schedule as usual. Actually, I really wanted to skip that day class and took care all the changing number hassle until it was clear and done, at home. But, I don’t like cutting some schedule unless it is really necessary and unavoidable.
We left home early because I wanted to stop by the bank. It usually takes 20 minutes from home to the class, but not that day.
Stuck in the traffic for an hour and being late for 10 minutes. The mood was too ruined to be functioned well but the little eyes were watching. At that rate, I would have cancelled the class if it were only me. But it was not about me. Canceling the whole class was just like punishing the innocent for the crime that she didn’t do and had no contribution on it. So, the show must go on.
Done with the class, went straight to the basement parking. Right when I wanted to close the door the security out there seemed want to say something. Couldn’t hear him clearly with the mask and the distance. Until I decided to take off the key and got out of the car to ask him.
Then, there was it. Another guest greeted me.
A quite heavily dented car on the front part.
Couldn’t help lettting out some whinning seeing that.
The thought came : Maybe I really should have cancelled that day class. Seemed it was our own decision that made things happen.
Two securities came and gave me the number of the culprit. At that time, I didn’t have any energy left to argue with anyone. But still, managed to press that number to hear what they would say.
The culprit admitted the fault directly, apologized nicely and offered their help sincerely. Judging from their car, surely money is not a big deal.
But it wasn’t about the money and a mere dented car. It brings another hassle of having some period without car.
*Inhale and exhale*
Among the presence of those uninvited guests, I was quite surprised to know how the brain and body reacted to this. The struggle inside was real.
Instead of whinning over the lost old number, I just bought a new one and moved on.
Instead of cancelled the whole 1,5 hours class and returned home because of 10 minutes late, I decided to show up and kept going until the end. Of course with endless apology to the teacher.
Instead of yelling and yapping at the culprit, the brain chose just to listen in silence, answered mildly with short sentence, and just let go. After that, called the insurance company to take care of this immediately.
Wonder if those were the sign of maturity or just being lazy. But, one thing for sure, it just felt okay. Not good, still bad, but okay.
It felt like that I now have the slightest interest and less and less energy to deal with almost everything that’s not within this brain and heart’s capacity to control. If it should come, then let it be.
Bad days happened.
But let my response be my weapon.
To fight back and deal with the uninvited guests that come unannouced.