Posted in Favorite things, Langit Senja, Places, Review

Glamping at Forest Garden Batulayang

I usually write in Bahasa Indonesia for a review, but not this time because no time to think harder.

Camping has been on little girl’s head for quite a while without no clear answer or plan.

Found this quite secluded glamping spot two weeks before, after intense two days researches, after having an official letter about piano school semester break, without knowing any other schedules at school.

Chose the date carefully on weekdays and half weekend. When the weekly schedule released last Sunday, the departure date turned out to be exactly right after the last test day at school, and for the first time, there was no zoom meeting for her favorite subject on Friday.

These little things that seemed like coincidences were things that amazed me how the invisible hand would help you in many ways beyond human calculation.

This glamping site is the closest, the safest, and the most reasonable choice for newbies like us (me and the little girl). It feels like camping like sleeping with some bugs, open air bathroom with pine tree view, night with bonfire, yet it has some adjustments like comfy bed and blanket and acceptably clean bathroom.

It is our first outing after nine months here and it is quite safe space for current situation. Open air, no physical distancing needed, big chance of mask free possible since meeting other group was quite rare. During our stay, there were only other two families.

Some yes points for the glamping site :

– Responsive staff

– Reasonable driving distance from home (2 hours)

– Got the camping feel for the little girl such as sleeping with some bugs inside the tent, campfire with roasted marshmallows, open air bathroom yet got the two most important things comfortably for mommy : bed and bathroom. Not ready to settle for less since this was my first time too.

– Price included 3 meals (BLD) and 3 snacks time.

– Quiet, fresh air, and far from crowded. At that time, we only had other two families with us. Those two checked out the next day, so there was period when we got all the camping site for ourselves.

– Kids friendly activities such ATV, fishing, guling-guling on the grass, walking and bathing in the river, monkey watching (there were few since it’s forest), acceptable tracking route for little girl with some help (tolerable means it depends on the one who got through it).

We took the nature walk to the next level. Conquered quite short yet rocky trail, crossed the river, climbed the rock with some help and managed to reach the finish line.

It was a great chance to entertain all the senses to the fullest.
Watched the beautiful view along the hike.
Listened to the nature sound and the silence of the forest.
Smelled the fresh air.
Felt all the things with the hand and feet.
Filled the heart with utmost gratitude.

This was also my first time doing such thing and felt so ecstatic to have my pink boots finally been in the place it should have been after a while.

It is quite hard to not to brag about this little traveler who survived all kind of weather, from the deep blue sea to the top of the forest, happily. After live on board in Komodo Island for 5 days two years ago, this was another nature adventure she did well.

Among 11 people who started the tracking, only 3 completed the journey.

Finish what we have started is not something that everyone can do.

It was two days well spent without daily schedule, youtube or Roblox since proper internet or wifi was not available. Yes, they got NO WIFI, although they said they did in the website.

But, it wasn’t really a big problem because we did many things such as playing card for learning bahasa Indonesia, snake and ladder, drawing, or just swinging and went around the site.

“Will we have another camping next year?” she asked.

Well girl, that is a question that only time could answer. For now, let’s say big fat Alhamdulillah for us to be granted this precious chance.

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

Heartache

Today, during school from home morning circle, the little girl learned that people would break her heart, made her upset and cried hard, although it was unintentional, and there was nothing she could do to avoid that, no other way than to deal with it, on her own. Those around her could soothe her for a while, but the rest, she had to figure it out herself because it’s her who felt it inside.

A simple thing like when someone forgot to call your name during attendance list and gratitude book reading could turn to be something big. It was far from simple when you had waited for your turn patiently, you had prepared your line carefully, heard that even others who hadn’t prepared at all being called twice, you expected that your turn would come soon and suddenly it said it was done.

I encouraged her to speak up about that. I told her to unmute herself and say it loudly, although it was with trembling voice and teary eyes that she said she hadn’t got her name called. Some excuses given from the other party, but it didnt make things better of course.

Afterwards, I sent text to stress how important this thing for us and reminded to pay careful attention so there would be no second time for this, to anyone, for whatever reasons. Apology sent to me but it was actually the little girl who needed to hear it. She kept asking whether the person was really sorry or had already said sorry.

Other than upset, being confused was totally understandable. Here at home, we (always try to) apologize properly, discuss it, explain the whys, but we couldn’t ask other to do the same. Apology is not something that you ask from other people. It was given from someone who feels it’s the right thing to do after a mistake.

In the society where sorry and thank you are not not trained properly and considered mandatory, it’s hard to expect such thing from others. Even worse, those who think children doesn’t deserve a sincere apology.

At times like this, what helps a lot is to have proper time and space to process everything, to explain thoroughly so having acceptance would be easier. I am glad I was with her when such things happened.

As we make journaling more routine, she also managed to pour her feelings into short writing.

Slightly messier handwriting than usual due to messy heart?
“I haven’t got my turn!”

It was not my first time dealing with this, been through worse, yet, it was still heart-breaking to see other people hurt your child.

There’s always homework to do in any stages of motherhood you go through.

Emotional regulation is our main subject which comes with bulk of tasks and lots of unannounced tests, for now.

Some days are Joyful and , some days are awful and bring you displeasures.

Posted in Langit Senja, Past learning, Thoughts

5.30 am Request Granted

New week with new timetable on the list.

The long search about finding a proper Quran teacher who fits all my requirements finally ended. It’s been couple of weeks since having this uncomfortable feeling teaching her this subject. Knowing how far from adequate my knowledge on her current level.

It also doesn’t feel right when we go with professional and qualified teachers for her other education like piano, speech language therapy, gym, so why we go with a mediocre and unqualified one for something as important as learning Quran?

As always, what we ask is what we get.

After clicking lots of profiles in superprof app for months, following few learning accounts, without satisfying results till I just stopped searching. But, giving up on this is not an option.

As always, things always granted when we desperately want it the most.

The right one found me at the first search after long pause of searching at the end of last week.

The teacher accepted the request not long after that.

The funny thing happened when we discussed about the lesson time.

When I offered choices of our free afternoon schedule, the teacher said he could only have mornings since he had fully booked from afternoon till night.

I had certain unusual idea in mind that I would like to propose to whoever that will become her Quran teacher.

To have the lesson at the same time she usually has her lesson daily with me. Right after subuh.

Since the teacher said he wasn’t available during usual and normal hours, so I thought it was perfect time to offer the unsual idea of mine.

I asked.

He agreed right away.

We paid in advance.

He gave the lesson link with the schedule in an instant.

On the day, we requested five minutes before the appointed schedule as we always do.

He accepted at exactly 5.30 am.

This is why we should always ask everything in details.

I want a Quran teacher who :

– has proper knowledge and qualification in teaching the subject

– speaks english well (more because of her first language is English and she thinks in English), not just one that can speak English, like me.

– know how to teach.

– last but obviously not the least, on time to the last minute.

Alhamdulillah, as many other things in life that I have requested so far , this time too, all is granted on the right time.

First lesson done well. Hopefully will continue to do so. Amin.

Posted in Books, Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

The Joy of Motherhood

As we finished isya and she folded her mukena, she came to me and looked at me, then whispered in tiny voice,
“Are you binung (bingung)?” since she caught me staring blankly.

“I am not feeling well,”

“Can I help you with anything? Do you want some tea?”

“Ya, i’ll make some tea later,”

“I’ll help you with it. With sugar or honey? Or without sugar?”

“Without sugar. Do you know which glass to use?”

“The green glass,”.

Then I just watched her doing it step by step in her own way.

While mine is put the tea bag on the glass, then fill it with hot water while hers is fill the glass with hot water then put the tea bag.

As her hand went up and down with the tea bag, she asked,

“Enough?”

“Yes,”.

The glass didn’t have any handles on it, when she touched it she knew she couldn’t bring it to me.

I thought she would ask me to just go to the table and drink it there (i still sat on the sajadah), but instead she said,
“Wait, I need a tray to bring this, but where is it?”

(there’s usually a little tray for drinking glass on the table)

“In the drying rack, I washed it. Is it dried enough already?”

She took it and answered,
“Not really, but it’s fine”.

She put the tea on the tray and put it on the carpet.
One sip, it filled the whole body with warmth.

Little cup with enormous effect

Listened to the empathetic tone. Listened to her offering help, even asked with some details. Watched her doing the task systematically and solved the problem well.

It was a joy that no kind of tangible achievement could give.

I once wrote last year, I have three qualities that become my compass in raising her. At the same time, Edward de Bono’s book become one of the on-going readings on the shelf.

Being shown that she displayed one of the qualities properly and showed that she knew how to think accordingly.

This is the kind of learning and training result that matters the most for me.

This might be just a simple thing for others, but this is the kind of event that could wipe all my worries tremendously for a while.

It was one of the moments that I could assure myself that she would be ok.

Posted in Favorite things, Langit Senja, Places

The Joy of Childhood

As always, a sudden plan striked again last Tuesday. Realized that she had only one morning meeting, house cleaned, many hours to go to a simple exam this afternoon, dinner’s secured, then immediate preparations fixed to go to some place that she would love.

Since pandemic began, in London, and especially here, guess I am getting better at making sudden trip happen. Last minutes field trip becomes banal. The tricky thing is, before I could tell her that we would go somewhere, I had to carefully planned everything. Not all the plan successfully executed, but most of the time, it did.

The perks of having all things done at home as early as possible, having plan A and B for weekly meal prep inside the brain, when sudden idea came, we could grab it fast. I could only go outside peacefully knowing everything inside is taken care properly.

Glad also that her current school and homeschool schedules still allow us to have this chance. Packed Monday balanced with easy Tuesday. Some days I look like an ambitious chinese tiger parent that filled her kid with lots of extra activities, some days I could look like a laid back Dutch or Scandinavian parent that let her child play freely all day. That Tuesday, it was the latter.

Left the car and ordered the taxi because of the restriction and again turned out to be the best option. Although his car also one with even number license, the driver knew the routes to beat the restriction which I and goggle maps didn’t. New knowledge is always welcomed.

It was rained right when we arrived, yet it knew how precious the chance for a proper outdoor session. Not long, the sun said hello within few minutes.

Little bunny finally reunited with things that she had been missing for months. Proper playground and (lightly) soaked on the water. This time, I wouldn’t go with the tone saying how pity to live in the city where we had to pay for this kind of basic thing for children.

(But you said it!)

I know.

But, such a nice break from Roblox, isn’t it girl?

Posted in Langit Senja, Thoughts

New Melodies of Daily Life

I (really) had hard times during first two weeks of formal school. Adjusting and adapting to the new life and schedule was a total headache. I had so many things that I want to keep but still couldn’t find the right flow to do that. But, most of the time, we only get what we ask for, and usually, when we really want something, then we’ll find a way for that. My goals are clear : I want to keep all the routines and I want my peace of mind too since morning.

Having formal school in daily life doesn’t mean eliminating all the home school learnings schedule that has been built for the last 1,5 years. So, what we need is some adjustments here and there, squeezeing some this and that, and finally after exactly a month, daily rhytms with new melodies formed.

Day starts as early as before subuh with breakfast. Before, piano was given the last slot of morning routine before break, but, a month or two before first day of school, I changed the order. Knowing that this piano is the hardest routine that takes the longest time, I changed it to the first one after set of subuh routine (subuh, iqra and quran memorization). Then, it followed by math and theory music training with apps, and a 15 minutes session of game before school hours starts.

The consequence of having longer duration for piano practice, we have to squeeze all the apps session to the minimum. From three levels of numbots to one level/day, from ten minutes of timetable rockstar to five minutes only and a level of notes reading or pitch training which aims for three stars.

These all done so she still have some spare time to play game before school time. This is an important routine that should be kept. The more learning routines she has, it means the more playing time she deserves.

I also apply that all school works should be submitted right away so we don’t have to deal with it again. Because tomorrow will come with new ones. I could proceed to the second leg of the day knowing that the google classroom to do list has zero notificiations.

Current school timetable fits us pretty well because everything has done before 11am. It gives us proper time to breathe before heading to the afternoon schedules. Right after school ends, she still has sometimes to have 15-20 minutes break for playing or watching before having lunch and do her dishes.

It’s good that the ‘only’ thing that we have to alter is the morning time. We still can keep the afternoon routines as usual, only with few eliminations like art and gym because they’re still on the restrictions during PPKM.

Not only the little girl, my schedule has changed accordingly too. My me time has changed from a session of 1,5 hours morning course to leisurely reading and kitchen/house cleaning since I had to give up the course for a while.

After few weeks dealing with online course and online school altogether and ended up being so exhausted after that, no time to do house works properly, had to ask permission to be passive for half of the course since I had to accompany the little girl, understood less and less lessons daily, the decision to (temporary) halt the course became the only thing to achieve my second goal above.

After all, you can’t just have everything.

Keeping this kind of routines regime becomes a bit easier because we have Alexa as the time keeper. We always rely on her to set timer for everything. Time keeping is an important thing to keep everything on the track.

James Clear this week newsletter mentioned the importance of time keeping quoting from author and journalist Mitch Albom :

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.”

The whole day routine we do above is not a temporary project. It’s been built since the first months of life. The only change throughout the years is the melodies. But the rhytms, has always been the same.

I don’t know about other children, but mine is living in an environment where the flow of the day stays practically the same whether it’s weekend or weekdays. This post, described our typical day before having formal school.

Having and forming daily routine that is consistently done in rain or shine, weekdays or weekend, snow or sunny is hard, time and energy consuming at the beginning, need strong commitment and high level of self-discipline. Among any other routines, beating yourself daily is the hardest of all.

But, I am lucky that I have lived long enough to experience how this thing becomes a long term investment and enjoying the result for myself. Having daily routine is the long-term investment that will keep compounding throughout the years of life and I want the little girl to have it too for her life.

For me, it’s one of unbeatable privileges you can pass to your children without worrying about its value decreased or it’s being stolen from them. An Investment that will make everyone’s life easier, especially during bad days and hard times, like now and future years to come.

This kind of clarity makes the daily self-beating becomes more bearable.

This writing had been started few weeks ago and finished in an hour thanks to an article I stumble upon while having leisure stalking. This one talks about principles of effective research and to have such thing, it starts with having effective use of the researcher daily time. One of the punch lines from the article :

I heard a story years ago in which a representative from McDonald’s was asked what gave McDonald’s the edge in the fast food industry. They replied that McDonald’s took care of the little things, like making sure that their restaurants and surrounds were always extremely clean. Representatives of other fast food companies replied incredulously that surely that was not the reason McDonald’s did so well, for “anyone could do that”. “But only McDonald’s does” was the response.

That ‘took care of little things’, ‘anyone could do that but only McDonald’s does’ reasoned well with me.

The article has many interesting lines that become the fuel that I need today to finish this writing as early as 4 am and to deal with today’s long to-do-list since we finally have our boxes from London safely arrived in my dad’s house last night, after NINE (with capital) months of waiting and fighting.

Alhamdulillah.

Bonne journée a vous et trés bonne journée à moi, j’éspere.

Posted in Langit Senja, Thoughts

Keluh Kesah tentang Sekolah

Tanpa mau bilang ngga terasa, tapi akhirnya (sebagai orang tua) sampai juga ke salah satu milestone besar : pilih sekolah dasar buat anak.

Punya pengetahuan yang cukup tentang pendidikan dan sekolah, pernah liat dari dalam beberapa sekolah, beberapa tahun lalu, saya sudah punya bayangan akan mengirim anak saya kemana. Dana pendidikan sudah disiapkan sesuai sekolah tujuan sejak beberapa tahun lalu.

Saya punya sekolah yang memenuhi semua ceklis. Sekolah islam yang moderat, ngga kaku, auranya menyenangkan, punya kebiasaan membaca, visi misinya jelas, dan tentu harus sesuai sama kemampuan. Satu aja kurangnya, lokasi, tapi lokasi ini masih bisa dikompromi. Apalagi mereka juga menyediakan shuttle bus.

Saya sudah stalking berbulan-bulan bagaimana mereka menjalankan pembelajaran selama pandemi dan suka sekali. Hal-hal yang diperlihatkan jauh dari sekedar akademis, tapi lebih ke life skills dan well-being, yang mana buat saya lebih penting di saat seperti ini.

Sayangnya, ketika beberapa bulan lalu saya wa untuk minta info pendaftaran, kuotanya sudah full. Kami sempat berpikir untuk menunda sampai tahun depan lagi tapi diurungkan karena nunggu setahun untuk satu sekolah dan mengorbankan hal lain adalah pilihan yang kurang tepat.

PS : mereka wa beberapa bulan setelahnya bahwa ada tempat kosong, tapi kami sudah selesai daftar di tempat lain.

Sekolah lain yang ada di daftar saya adalah sekolah umum yang saya sudah pantau sejak tiga tahun lalu tapi ngga kebayang akan kirim anak saya kesana karena secara lokasi kurang bisa dikompromi dan hal-hal lainnya yang dulunya saya hampir yakin bukan hal yang tepat buat anak saya.

Tapi, seperti biasa, hidup itu ngga pernah linear dan hampir ngga ada hal yang dikasih persis seperti rencana awal. Tinggal di London mengubah hampir semua pandangan tentang banyak hal termasuk sekolah. Seperti sengaja dikirim jauh untuk dikasih liat sekolah seperti apa yang anak saya butuh dan ini sama sekali bukan tentang sekolah apa yang kami mau.

Saya suka vibe sekolah ini. Halamannya luas, area hijaunya banyak, dan salah satu yang jadi magnet adalah mereka hanya punya satu kelas per angkatan dengan maksimal 28 anak. Jadi jelas bukan sekolah yang mementingkan uang dengan buka kelas lebih banyak seiring meningkatnya permintaan. Saya cuma tetap ngga yakin karena secara lokasi agak ngga terbayangkan oleh saya kirim anak saya sekolah di sana.

Tapi, jodoh emang gitu.

Waktu pertama kali saya menanyakan pendaftaran lewat salah satu medsos, di waktu yang agak ngga biasa karena waktu itu masih di London, ternyata langsung dijawab. Dijawabnya pun panjang lebar dan niat. Tadinya saya cuma mau nanya hal-hal dasar dan umum, tapi dengan percakapan yang mengalir saya jadi lebih nyaman bertanya lebih detil dan dalam seperti apa mereka menerima anak denga kesulitan belajar, punya perpustakaan yang proper, seperti apa budaya membacanya sampai apa kantin tersedia atau tidak (saya ngga pro kantin ada di sekolah), sampai tradisi merayakan ulang tahun. Hampir semuanya memenuhi kriteria saya.

Saya suka sekali dengan jawaban :

“Kami adalah sekolah inklusi”.

Cari sekolah umum inklusi di Jakarta yang secara reputasi cukup baik itu sulit sekali. Jadi satu hal ini, sangat penting buat kami.

Pas sekali ternyata mereka baru buka pendaftaran gelombang kedua. Jadilah kami langsung daftar dan beberapa hari kemudian, jadwal wawancara pun dikirim. Karena adanya perbedaaan waktu 7 jam pada saat itu, proses wawancara kami dilakukan oleh ketua yayasannya yang saat itu sedang studi di US. Di awal rencananya wawancara hanya sekitar 30 menit, tapi ternyata jadi cukup panjang hingga 1,5 jam.

Kami cukup teryakinkan dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang diajukan pada saat wawancara. Ngga ada yang bersifat akademik dan lebih kepada rutinitas dan perkembangan anak. Seminggu setelahnya dijadwalkan untuk observasi anak. Sekali lagi, mereka cukup akomodatif dengan perbedaan waktu ini. Jadwal observasi kelompok yang seharusnya jam 9 pagi dimundurkan jadi jam 2 siang waktu Jakarta.

Saat observasi pun tidak ada pertanyaan yang ngga wajar seperti salah satu SD yang menanyakan siapa proklamator Indonesia kepada anak TK. Semua pertanyaan benar-benar sesuai apa yang seharusnya anak umur 6 tahun tahu. Warna dasar, angka dasar, bentuk dasar, dsb. Ketika observasi one on one pun, gurunya juga dipilihkan yang berbahasa Inggris.

Beberapa minggu kemudian, surat penerimaan pun diterima. Kami cukup lega karena ngga menyangka alhamdulillah semua dimudahkan untuk pencarian SD ini meskipun dari jauh. Masalah tempat tinggal setelah dari London pun jadi lebih jelas setelah tau dimana sekolah buat enam tahun ke depan (salah satu hal baik dari belum punya rumah, pilihan tempat tinggal kami jadi lebih fleksibel).

Sudah diputuskan karena jarak ke tahun ajaran baru tinggal 6 bulan, selama 6 bulan ini kami hanya akan belajar sendiri. Karena toh semua sekolah di Jakarta pun tidak ada yang berlangsung offline.

Dulu saya pikir jeda 6 bulan itu sebentar. Tapi, ternyata dalam waktu enam bulan ini, jeda antara sekolah formal terakhir di Alfred Salter dan tahun ajaran baru ini, banyak sekali hal yang mengubah pandangan saya tentang sekolah. Menjalani rutin baru yang terbentuk sejak pandemi di London, mulai banyak baca tentang homeschool, mengikuti beberapa akun orangtua homeschool luar negeri (susah sekali buat ngga iri), terutama melihat pesatnya perkembangan anak ini selama lockdown, baik di London, maupun beberapa bulan tanpa sekolah di sini, perasaan terusik makin sering dirasakan.

Merasakan ‘nikmatnya’ unschooling, melihat beberapa anak homeschool, melihat banyaknya anak-anak yang sama sekali tidak menikmati sekolah dari rumah selama setahun lebih, dan akhirnya jadi sama sekali ngga belajar apapun, jadi buat saya semakin bertanya-tanya, dengan kondisi saat ini, dengan kondisi pendidikan di Indonesia saat ini, apakah ‘kembali’ ke sekolah formal adalah pilihan yang tepat?

Saya belum tau jawabannya.

Tapi, semakin dekat tahun ajaran baru, perasaan malah semakin galau. Kehilangan semua fleksibilitas dan kebebasan dalam belajar selama ini buat saya agak khawatir. Selain itu banyak kekhawatiran kecil yang ntah penting atau ngga. Antusiasme menyambut sekolah baru jadi ngga seperti yang dibayangkan.

Senin ini orientasi hari pertama sudah dimulai dan senin depan akan menjadi hari pertama dari perjalanan panjang yang kami ngga tau akan jadi seperti apa.

Karena kami ngga tau, makanya kami ingin cari tau. Semoga apapun keputusan yang diambil, apapun yang ada di depan, akan jadi pelajaran baru yang bisa bermanfaat buat semua.

Bismillah.

Semangat, Be.

(Mami kali yang semangat).

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Thoughts

Perjalanan Panjang Menemukan Jawaban Bagian V

Setelah tahun lalu mengalami perjalanan panjang bagian satu , dua, tiga, dan mengira sudah selesai di satu bab besar, ternyata perjalanan menemukan jawaban ini belum selesai.

Setelah mendapatkan diagnosis DLD, kami cukup aktif mengedukasi diri sendiri dengan berbagai informasi tentang ini. Dari mendengarkan podcast, membaca jurnal, mengikuti akun-akun advokasi, mendaftarkan diri sebagain RADLD ambassador, baca berbagai artikel dan penelitian, melakukan semua yang bisa dilakukan untuk mensupport lebih baik.

Ada satu hal yang berulang kali terus mengganggu dan bikin gelisah. Semakin banyak baca tentang DLD, semakin banyak pula hal-hal yang terasa tidak pas dengan anak saya. Hal ini buat lebih banyak baca semua neurodevelopmental disorder lain, dan sayangnya yang paling mendekati masih DLD.

Meskipun ada beberapa irisan di DCD/Dyspraxia, dan laporan observasi yang dilakukan oleh Dr Mustafa menyatakan ada kemungkinan verbal dyspraxia, tetapi ketika mempelajari lebih dalam beberapa contoh kasus verbal dyspraxia, lagi-lagi ada hal yang kurang pas dengan anak ini.

Saya berulang kali mengutarakan pernyataan seperti ini :

“Makin banyak baca, makin sering liat contoh, kok kaya makin jauh ya dari semua diagnosis yang udah ada (DLD, DCD). Tipikalnya itu agak beda dan ngga pas buat dia”.

Kenapa saya bisa bilang ngga pas?

DLD ini umumnya dekat sekali dengan dyslexia atau dyscalculia. Dari banyak contoh anak yang saya lihat, anak saya ada di semua kebalikan dari dyslexia atau dyscalculia. Membaca dan matematikanya agak terlalu ‘advance’.

Dia ini strong reader. Seperti yang pernah ditulis di post sebelumnya, salah satu yang bikin kami makin ngga ngerti adalah dia bisa baca sendiri tanpa diajari di usia sebelum 4 tahun. Dia bisa dengan cepat membaca not balok di musik, dan huruf arab di Quran.

Review dari guru-gurunya di reading log

Dia bisa menghitung penjumlahan, pengurangan dengan cepat. Baru-baru ini yang lebih makin membingungkan, dia tau-tau sudah hafal perkalian dari sekedar kesukaannya pada numberblocks. Latihan setiap hari tentu berpengaruh, tapi jika dikaitkan dengan DLD, ada sesuatu yang ngga pas.

Sebelum menulis ini, saya baca ulang satu-satu semua tulisan dan video yang merekam perkembangan dia. Saya temukan bahwa bahkan sebelum bisa baca, dia punya ketertarikan besar sekali pada huruf dan angka.

Di salah satu post saya, di usia 2 tahun lebih dia sudah bisa menghitung maju dan mundur dari 1-50, mengenal semua warna, menyebutkan hampir semua benda di buku kamus kesayangannya dengan lafal bahasa Inggris yang baik.

Sementara, level berbicaranya bisa jauh dibawahnya.

Ini ngga masuk di otak saya yang pas-pasan. Bagaimana bisa perbedaannya begitu signifikan?

Sementara saya sibuk anter terapi kesana kemari, berbicara lebih banyak, mengikutkan ke semua kegiatan yang bisa mendorong bicaranya, tau-tau yang muncul malah yang sama sekali ngga ‘dipikirkan’ dan ‘diajarkan’.

Tentu bukan ngga bersyukur, alhamdulillah sekali saya dikasih bonus buat ngga mengalami sakit kepala ajar anak baca, tapi, bicaranya bagaimana? Salahnya di mana?

Sebagai gambaran, anak saya ini bukan ngga bisa bicara. Dia sangat verbal. Kosakatanya sangat banyak. Pengucapannya jelas. Rasa ingin tahunya juga tinggi. Tapi selalu kesulitan untuk :

– berada dalam percakapan dalam waktu yang lama.

– menjawab pertanyaan kompleks (kenapa, bagaimana) atau pertanyaan terbuka.

– menjawab secara runut kejadian yang dialami

Tiga hal besarnya seperti itu.

Dan ini terus terang (sangat) membuat frustasi.

Sepulang dari London akhir tahun lalu, kami perlu waktu buat adaptasi. Sampai akhirnya awal Maret lalu, saya mulai gelisah lagi. Tanpa sekolah dan terapi rutin, saya merasa perkembangan bahasanya mulai stagnan.

Sementara di semua hal dia terlihat baik-baik saja bahkan di atas rata-rata seperti piano, iqro, quran dan matematikanya. Secara emosi juga cukup matang dan mandiri. Dia melakukan tugas rumah seperti mencuci piringnya dan melipat pakaian sendiri, kadang menyiapkan sarapan sederhana sendiri, merapikan kamarnya dan masih banyak lagi.

Pelan-pelan, kami mulai lagi pencarian klinik untuk melanjutkan terapi wicaranya. Salah satu kendala di sini adalah anak ini bahasa ibunya adalah bahasa Inggris. Dia bukan sekedar anak yang berbicara bahasa Inggris, tapi juga sudah berpikir dalam bahasa Inggris. Sehingga, kami lebih memilih terapi yang benar-benar dilakukan oleh orang yang berbahasa Inggris. Bukan sekedar orang Indonesia yang berbahasa Inggris, seperti orangtuanya.

Kami sempat menghubungi beberapa klinik di sini. Bahkan sempat datang langsung untuk konsul psikolog di salah satu klinik terkenal, dimana psikolognya bisa berbahasa Inggris tapi harus pulang dengan hati berat. Observasi yang dilakukan sangat standar, sangat di bawah kemampuan dia, dan sama sekali ngga memberikan insight baru, dengan harga yang ngga murah.

Klinik lain yang kami hubungi via wa langung menanyakan domisili dan pamflet daftar harga bahkan tanpa meminta hasil asesmen atau apapun.

Klinik lain dengan ribuan pengikut yang sempat saya tanya via media sosial, dimana sempat terjadi percakapan panjang pada dini hari,menghasilkan efek traumatis yang cukup lama buat saya.

Hal terbesar dan terpenting yang absen dari klinisi2 di sini adalah : empati.

Babak belur perasaan di pagi buta cuma buat merasa ‘disalahkan’ dan saran yang diberikan dipukul sama rata dengan semua anak yang mereka suka repost di akunnya. Lebih parahnya lagi, nada arogannya terasa sekali. Seakan-akan mereka yang lebih tau segalanya. Dengan tegas memvonis sesuatu yang ternyata setelah saya menemukan lebih banyak jurnal, pengalaman orangtua, dan yang lainnya, sepertinya ilmu mereka juga harus diupdate lagi.

Dalam sebulan ini saya merasakan sekali manfaat menulis dan merekam perkembangan anak. Semua ‘tuduhan’ yang dilontarkan admin klinik tsb, kembali saya konfirmasi dan semua patah. Anak saya mengikuti semua milestone yang mereka anggap ngga dijalankan dengan baik.

Selain tiga klinik di atas, ada satu klinik yang cukup memberi penghiburan. Dimana adminnya menjalankan prosedur dengan proper seperti mengatur zoom meeting terlebih dahulu, menanyakan diagnosis dan sebagainya. Mereka juga punya SLT resmi berbahasa Inggris. Cuma satu kurangnya, semua masih dilakukan online.

Selain keempat klinik tersebut, kami memberanikan diri untuk mencoba sesuatu di luar. Kami menghubungi salah satu lembaga speech therapy di Singapura via WA. Responnya sangat cepat dan baik. Bahkan hanya dalam hitungan jam, mereka menanyakan apakah bersedia ditelpon dan berbicara langsung.

Percakapan 30 menit yang sangat signifikan mengubah perasaan.

Kami dihubungi langsung oleh seorang Doktor di bidang Speech and Language dan HANYA dalam satu percakapan tersebut keluar suatu pernyataan yang sama dengan kegelisahan saya,

“From your story, there are things that dont match with DLD”.

Tidak pas dengan DLD.

Tapi justru lebih pas ke sesuatu yang lain.

Setelah percakapan via telp tersebut, pembicaraan berlanjut via email untuk penjelasan lebih detil. Dari sana diputuskan bahwa anak saya akan menjalani tes lengkap selama 3x dalam 3 minggu untuk menentukan apakah DLD (masih) cocok dengan kondisinya atau…

ada sesuatu yang lain.

_________________________________

Kami menjalani 3 tes dalam 3 minggu dengan Dr Phua. Tes ini bertujuan ‘memastikan’ apakah DLD masih berlaku atau sesuai kecurigaan, bahwa ini bukan DLD.

Semua tes dilakukan dalam bahasa Inggris. Tes berlangsung selama kurang lebih dua jam di akhir pekan. Tesnya berupa gambar, membaca, menulis, mengeja, bercerita, dan sejenisnya. Tingkat kesulitan tes ini bertingkat dari yang bisa anak saya kerjakan dengan mudah sampai yang jelas jauh di atas kemampuannya.

Beberapa tes yang dilakukan adalah seperti : mencocokan gambar, menebak kelanjutan cerita, mencari sinonim kata, menerjemahkan pesan implisit, menonton kartun pendek tanpa teks dan dialog kemudian diminta menjawab pertanyaan tentang kartun tersebut. Di tes minggu terakhir, dia diminta membaca dan menjawab pertanyaan dari paragraf, menulis cerita dan tes mengeja.

Materi tes yang sulit adalah satu hal. Hal yang cukup saya hargai adalah endurance anak ini. Duduk 2 jam dan berusaha mengerjakan semua sebaik-baiknya, bahkan saya yang cuma mendampingi lelah sekali.

Jeda antar minggu tes merupakan minggu-minggu yang berat. Perasaan yang ngga menentu, gelisah, khawatir, dan mungkin masih berusaha menerima kalau ini yang harus dijalani.

Dalam jeda ini juga saya habiskan berhari-hari dengan membaca semua tentang kemungkinan diagnosis baru ini. Mengedukasi diri sendiri dari berbagai akun dan jurnal. Semakin banyak baca, semakin pikiran terbuka, dan mungkin ini jalan yang ditunjukan untuk menerima.

Dalam beberapa hari, saya menemukan satu istilah yang menggambarkan anak saya dengan tepat. Bukan hanya sekedar ciri-ciri umum, tapi bahkan sampai ke hal-hal khusus dan semua timeline kejadian yang dijelaskan sangat persis seperti yang kami lewati.

Dalam beberapa hari, saya menghabiskan hampir sepanjang waktu untuk mencari tahu lebih banyak. Dari pengalaman orang tua, jurnal para ahli, dan juga pengalaman orang pertama.

Benar-benar minggu yang mengubah isi kepala tentang sesuatu. Seperti dipaksa buat membuang semua isi kepala lama dan mengganti dengan yang baru.

Di hari terakhir tes, setelah tes dengan anak saya selesai, kami berbicara dengan Dr Phua. Dari hasil semua tes dan observasi yang sudah dilakukan, hampir dipastikan DLD bukan diagnosis yang tepat untuk anak saya.

Posted in Favorite things, Langit Senja, Thoughts

Another Money Talk

This week lesson on our homeschooling :

Second chapter on money. This time is about what we can do with money.

Certain amount received from a relative and it was a good chance to do something about it.

I use my (golden) principles since the first time I earned my own money at 18 and it’s quite applicable for a 6 y.o too :

1. Save 50% of them right away. Whether you will (need to) use some of it later, that’s another story.

2. Spend on whatever things you want with the rest and try to stick with that amount.

3. Share (at least) 2.5% from the whole amount.

We went to the bank to do the first thing.

She has something that has been on her mind for some time. We visited few toy stores and went home with empty hand. Why? Simply because it was out of her budget. She could understand quite well when she saw the price tag :

“How much is that?”

” 300 thousands”.

” So, can you buy this?”

“No, it’s not enough”.

So I told her to either wait until she has the money OR find another one within her budget, online.

No whinning on the toy store.
But, no waiting too long to execute the next plan.

We checked this morning and she found one within her budget in online store. Number two checked.

Finally, we did the last part and I let her choose to whom she wanted to donate her money and chipped in.

One simple topic can be used for : math, islamic, and writing.

Homeschooling is exciting IF you have enough energy, continous creativity, and adequate amount of time to design the lesson plan.

Homeschooling is a better option than an online school IF you have those three resources above. We have tried some pop up classes and they were tiring. For us.

There were days that we could learn many things, stick to the lesson plan, checked all the list.

But, there were also days that we totally left the plan untouched and replaced it with whatever activities that suit the teacher mood.

Ex : long hours of skateboarding, playing on the playground, swimming, going somewhere, cutting some food or fruit or simply lazing around doing nothing.

This week is one of the rainbow weeks in my homeschooling days, where I (feel) have full control on my child’s education and deliver some meaningful applicable lessons.

When the little kid learn three basic things about what money can do, the adult can learn the truth about money like one that written on one of the pages from Morgan Housel’s best selling book Psychology of Money.

Posted in Langit Senja, Thoughts

The One that (Won’t) Got Away

Dear little girl,

As you grow, you will slowly understand that the biggest and longest battle that you will face is the one you do…

with your self.

The most important relationship you will build is the one..

with yourself.

People come and go. Yourself stays.

Relationship with yourself will become the anchor for any relationships you build with others.

In his famos video and book , The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch said :

“Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others”.

Donc, the one that you should take care first and foremost is..

yourself.

Along the way, you will find there will be some who laugh at you.

Be gentle with them.

But, I believe you will also find few who will laugh with you.

Be extremely kind with this one.