Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

Heartache

Today, during school from home morning circle, the little girl learned that people would break her heart, made her upset and cried hard, although it was unintentional, and there was nothing she could do to avoid that, no other way than to deal with it, on her own. Those around her could soothe her for a while, but the rest, she had to figure it out herself because it’s her who felt it inside.

A simple thing like when someone forgot to call your name during attendance list and gratitude book reading could turn to be something big. It was far from simple when you had waited for your turn patiently, you had prepared your line carefully, heard that even others who hadn’t prepared at all being called twice, you expected that your turn would come soon and suddenly it said it was done.

I encouraged her to speak up about that. I told her to unmute herself and say it loudly, although it was with trembling voice and teary eyes that she said she hadn’t got her name called. Some excuses given from the other party, but it didnt make things better of course.

Afterwards, I sent text to stress how important this thing for us and reminded to pay careful attention so there would be no second time for this, to anyone, for whatever reasons. Apology sent to me but it was actually the little girl who needed to hear it. She kept asking whether the person was really sorry or had already said sorry.

Other than upset, being confused was totally understandable. Here at home, we (always try to) apologize properly, discuss it, explain the whys, but we couldn’t ask other to do the same. Apology is not something that you ask from other people. It was given from someone who feels it’s the right thing to do after a mistake.

In the society where sorry and thank you are not not trained properly and considered mandatory, it’s hard to expect such thing from others. Even worse, those who think children doesn’t deserve a sincere apology.

At times like this, what helps a lot is to have proper time and space to process everything, to explain thoroughly so having acceptance would be easier. I am glad I was with her when such things happened.

As we make journaling more routine, she also managed to pour her feelings into short writing.

Slightly messier handwriting than usual due to messy heart?
“I haven’t got my turn!”

It was not my first time dealing with this, been through worse, yet, it was still heart-breaking to see other people hurt your child.

There’s always homework to do in any stages of motherhood you go through.

Emotional regulation is our main subject which comes with bulk of tasks and lots of unannounced tests, for now.

Some days are Joyful and , some days are awful and bring you displeasures.

Posted in Langit Senja, Past learning, Thoughts

5.30 am Request Granted

New week with new timetable on the list.

The long search about finding a proper Quran teacher who fits all my requirements finally ended. It’s been couple of weeks since having this uncomfortable feeling teaching her this subject. Knowing how far from adequate my knowledge on her current level.

It also doesn’t feel right when we go with professional and qualified teachers for her other education like piano, speech language therapy, gym, so why we go with a mediocre and unqualified one for something as important as learning Quran?

As always, what we ask is what we get.

After clicking lots of profiles in superprof app for months, following few learning accounts, without satisfying results till I just stopped searching. But, giving up on this is not an option.

As always, things always granted when we desperately want it the most.

The right one found me at the first search after long pause of searching at the end of last week.

The teacher accepted the request not long after that.

The funny thing happened when we discussed about the lesson time.

When I offered choices of our free afternoon schedule, the teacher said he could only have mornings since he had fully booked from afternoon till night.

I had certain unusual idea in mind that I would like to propose to whoever that will become her Quran teacher.

To have the lesson at the same time she usually has her lesson daily with me. Right after subuh.

Since the teacher said he wasn’t available during usual and normal hours, so I thought it was perfect time to offer the unsual idea of mine.

I asked.

He agreed right away.

We paid in advance.

He gave the lesson link with the schedule in an instant.

On the day, we requested five minutes before the appointed schedule as we always do.

He accepted at exactly 5.30 am.

This is why we should always ask everything in details.

I want a Quran teacher who :

– has proper knowledge and qualification in teaching the subject

– speaks english well (more because of her first language is English and she thinks in English), not just one that can speak English, like me.

– know how to teach.

– last but obviously not the least, on time to the last minute.

Alhamdulillah, as many other things in life that I have requested so far , this time too, all is granted on the right time.

First lesson done well. Hopefully will continue to do so. Amin.

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

How It Feels

In this post, I babbled about how words and lines in a book could be more comforting than a human. The right book found me at the right time. Other than books, some articles also did.

Stumbled upon a good one from Michael Batnick. Reading his writing about losing the mother felt like talking to a comforting friend. There are certain things, like huge grief, that only could be understood by ones who had experienced exactly the same thing.

Although it’s the same event of losing a mother, the degree of sad feeling could be entirely different. Losing your mother in certain period of life could left a huge hole inside, made you fall into dysfunctional period for days or weeks, cried over the smallest memories, thought how life could go on with her gone. While losing her in the other phase of life might only left certain bruise, received the news didn’t even shaken the eyes for a slight tears and it was just another ordinary sad event that happened in life.

It’s been almost 10 years since she left, yet, my tears are still running quickly in the slightest thought of her. Especially on Friday. I found Michael writing yesterday and every line of his work truly explained my feeling till I couldn’t help capturing every paragraph and want to keep it in a writing for myself. I felt like talking to a friend over a cake and coffee while reading it.

Exactly, Mike. Only I was 28 at that time. The most heartbreaking part is not that I didn’t have enough time with her. It’s her who didn’t have enough time with me. Witnessed many of important things in my life like ticking Paris from my dream list, to see her granddaughter growing. It’s painful and I considered this is one of my daughter great losses to not be able to meet and knowing her grandma in person.

How could you read my mind so well? Although it’s sad and devastating, there’s nothing I would change. I am a better person since she left. My vision becomes more clear after she left. And yes, if I looked back to ten years ago, I am myself right now is in a better place and better person, if it’s not a successful adult.

No explanation needed for this one.

Or maybe I could add with this one from my favorite happiness researcher book. Living the life you imagine, isn’t it enough definition of being successful?

Losing my mother gave me true insights not only about death but more of how to live your life. You’re so right when you said in your subconscious, you think about it all the time. It’s been almost 10 years since I clear Thursday evening from anything to be able make time with proper energy to send Yasin for her. It was her death that made me not to take things for granted, especially time spent with the one who matters the most. Let alone years, even tomorrows aren’t promised. And yes, for me after iman, health is the second thing that matters.

This last paragraph hit me the most. The fact that my daughter couldn’t meet her in person is painful enough. The only way I could make it up by paying forward everything she gave to me to my daughter, in double, triple, or more.

I believe she’s watching me. And I hope when we meet again later, I could face her and listened to her saying “I am so proud of you”. It’s the only external validation I need from someone.

Thank you for the cake and warm tea, Mike.

Unlike my mom, I don’t fancy coffee.

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

Epilog : 15 Tahun Perjalanan

Masih dalam suasana eforia hari Minggu kemarin.

Mau cerita tentang Jessica. Salah satu murid yang diajar dari dia kelas 4 SD dan sampe sekarang dia kelas 1 SMA. Salah satu murid pertama sejak ngajar di sana. Rajin, selalu sopan, sederhana, dan punya determinasi yang tinggi. Tipe murid top student yang nilainya bagus, ketua osis, sibuk, tapi hampir ngga pernah saya inget dia ngga les piano karena ada ulangan atau kegiatan apapun.

Punya kakak tapi seperti anak tunggal karena kakak laki-lakinya di luar negeri. Papa mamanya sibuk, dan sehari-hari diurus mbaknya. Belakangan mamanya udah pensiun jadi sering anter les.

Sejak kompetisi pertama kali ada, dia udah saya ikutin. Pertama masuk di Junior B. Tiga tahun berturut-turut ikut kompetisi, tiga-tiganya pegang piala. Pertama kali juara dua, lalu harapan satu, dan tahun terkahir di kategori B juara tiga.

Tahun berikutnya pindah ke kategori C karena umur. Persaingan dan tekanannya naik jauh sekali dari B ke C. Menang di kompetisi itu kombinasi dari banyak hal. Tapi, menurut saya selalu diawali dari satu hal penting, yaitu pemilihan lagu.

Lagu yang dipilih harus ngga pasaran, jarang dimainkan tapi enak didengar, tingkat kesulitan kalau bisa sedikit di atas standar kategori yang diikuti, dan terakhir, anak yang mainin suka lagunya.

Selama tiga tahun di kategori B, alhamdulillah saya selalu pilih lagu yang pas buat dia. Milihnya pun lama karena selalu saya coba sendiri dulu dan saya bayangin kesulitan yang bakal ada pas belajar, sambil memperhitungkan kemungkinan ada orang lain yang milih lagu ini. Selama tiga tahun di kategori B, semua faktor resiko sudah dieliminasi. Ditambah penentuan akhir dimana dia bawain lagunya dengan pede dan bagus, tiga tahun berturut-turut namanya selalu disebut ketika pengumuman juara.

Tahun ke empat kompetisi saya tawarin lagi buat ikut. Lagu udah saya pilih dan siapin sejak lama. Tapi memang dari awal seperti ada yang kurang atau kaya ada yang salah aja di kompetisi tahun 2017 itu. Mungkin karena setelah tiga kali ikut dan menang, baik guru dan muridnya pun ekspektasinya juga cukup tinggi. Jadi, agak berat juga beban dari awal.

Lagu yang dipilih October Tchaikovsky. Salah satu lagu favorit saya. Lagu yang cukup bagus buat kompetisi pertama dia di kategori C yang persaingannya lebih sulit. Lagunya bagus, dia juga suka, dan ngga terlalu panjang. Lambat dan pelan. Pressure sedang, kans buat menang juga cukup besar, kalo dimainkan dengan baik.

Sampai sekitar sebulan atau dua bulan sebelum kompetisi, kita tau ada satu anak lain main lagu yang sama. Murid guru lain yang juga sering jadi juara kompetisi. Saya dan dia langsung agak pucet waktu tau tentang itu. Main lagu yang sama ngga pernah menguntungkan buat pesertanya.

Ganti lagu sempet jadi pilihan tapi liat waktu latihan dan chemistry yang harus dibangun lagi dengan lagu barunya, kita mutusin buat tetap jalan. Sambil berharap semoga saat pengambilan undian dia dapet main yang duluan.

Di hari pengambilan undian, perasaan salah yang dari awal ada makin besar. Jessica dapet yang belakangan cuma dengan jeda 1 anak. Bebannya makin besar sekali di dia.

Di hari Gladi resik, dia main bagus sekali. Saya jadi agak tenang. Apalagi setelah denger saingan yang mainin lagu yang sama. Dalem hati paling ngga punya harapan lebih.

Hari H, ketemu dia dengan baju kompetisinya yang manis, Jessica keliatan cukup nervous. Wajar sih. Seperti biasa saya nemenin dia sambil ingetin beberapa instruksi yang dia kadang-kadang salah. Waktu giliran peserta lagu yang sama maju dan main, mungkin saat itu mentalnya semakin jatuh. Anak itu main dengan bagus, manis, dan bersih sekali. Bener-bener bersih dan tepat sekali semua dinamiknya. Perasaan saya semakin ngga enak tapi tetap berusaha semangatin dia.

Ketika gilirannya maju, dia terlihat ngga nyaman sekali. Not pertama dimainkan dengan sangat ragu-ragu. Not pertama dan bar pertama itu kunci yang nentuin mood dan tempo lagu seterusnya. Seringnya, ketika itu ngga dapet, kemungkinan memperbaikinya agak sulit.

Dan, selang beberapa menit kemudian, kejadian yang paling menakutkan terjadi. Sampai hari ini masih satu-satunya di sepanjang kompetisi yang pernah ada di sekolah musik ini.

Jessica berhenti main dan keluar panggung sambil nangis dan bilang, “aku ngga bisa, aku ngga bisa,”.

Ngga bisa digambarin perasaan saya waktu itu. Sedih, kecewa, patah hati, tapi saya juga sangat ngerti besarnya beban mental yang dia harus hadepin di depan.

Ternyata patah hatinya belum selesai. Saat pengumuman pemenang, juara pertama jatuh ke anak lain dengan lagu yang sama dengan Jessica. Disini, setidaknya kita tau, saya tidak salah pilih lagu.

(Pernah dibahas lengkap di post ini)

Kita ngga banyak bahas itu setelahnya. Les pun kembali berjalan seperti biasa.

Kompetisi tahun 2018 dia menolak ikut karena alesannya sedang sibuk di sekolah. Tapi, tentu bukan cuma karena itu. Kita sama-sama tau kalo trauma dia masih besar. Saya pun ngga mau maksa.

Tahun 2018 saya bisa fokus ke satu murid baru yang cukup bagus dan saya ikutkan juga kompetisi karena liat potensinya. Alhamdulillah, seperti yang diharapkan, Nathan juara 1 di kompetisi pertamanya.

Awal tahun 2019, sudah diumunkan kompetisi akan diadakan bulan Agustus. Di awal tahun ini juga, wacana saya kemungkinan besar akan harus resign mulai mencuat. Di bulan Maret, saya mulai nanya ke dia apa mau coba ikut lagi. Saya bilang saya udah siapin lagunya. Dia bilang mau mikir dulu. Saya tegaskan ke dia kalo saya ngga mau maksa. Tapi, saya mau dia basuh dulu traumanya dua taun lalu dengan ikut lagi, main sampai selesai, ngga peduli apapun. Cukup itu. Ngga perlu mikirin menang dan yang lain. Cukup main dari awal sampai akhir, ngga peduli sejelek apa.

Bulan April dia ujian nasional dan akhirnya dia setuju ikut setelah dia selesai ujian. Saya sudah pilih dua lagu yang kontras. Satu lagu pendek 3 halaman, lambat, dan cukup terkenal, cocok sekali kalo targetnya cuma buat sekedar hilangin trauma. Satu lagu lainnya cepat, panjang 6 halaman dengan not yang banyak, dan jarang orang akan pilih dan mainkan. Bahkan mungkin jarang tau juga.

Saya bilang ke dia kalo saya sengaja kasih yang sangat kontras seperti ini. Biarpun jelas sekali yang mana preferensi saya, saya biarin dia tetap milih. Bukan sekedar milih lagu, tapi juga memilih sampai level mana yang mau dia capai. Dari situ saya bisa tentuin sikap harus seperti apa drilling dia.

Sesuai ekspektasi saya tentang dia selama ini, tentu dia pilih yang punya kesempatan lebih.

Dalam kompetisi, saya selalu punya target yang mau dicapai. Tentu sesuai kapasitas muridnya. Meskipun orang sering bilang, ikut aja yang penting pengalamannya. Latihan berani tampil dan sebagainya. Tapi, buat saya ngga. Kalo cuma itu ada konser.

Apa kalo kompetisi harus menang? Tidak. Karena menang atau kalah ada banyak hal yang di luar kontrol kita. Tapi, yang harus ditargetkan adalah, di kompetisi ada menang dan kalah, apa kita mau kalah atau menang? Tentu jawabannya jelas.

Dengan tau target, kita jadi tau harus seberapa keras usahanya untuk itu. Karena beda sekali orang yang tujuannya cuma sekedar ikut dan orang yang punya target jelas.

Saya bilang ke murid-murid saya, ikut kompetisi persiapan tidak boleh 100%. Minimal 150%. Grogi itu menurunkan kemampuan sampai 50 %, apa jadinya kalo cuma siap 100%.

Balik ke persiapan kompetisi. Selama latihan terus terang progresnya ngga terlalu bagus dan agak lambat. Saya sempet agak frustasi dan marah ke dia. Saya tanya mana komitmennya. Saya tau lagunya susah, tapi menurut saya ada saat di mana dia ngga berusaha maksimal buat latihan. Enam minggu sebelum kompetisi, masih 3 halaman yang dia belum beres. Belum hafal not, dinamik, banyak sekali bagian yang harus drilling dsb.

Di beberapa bagian bahkan ada yang saya sampai suruh dia ulang berkali-kali sampai dia bisa, baru boleh pulang. Di sebulan terakhir, saya paksa dia tutup partitur. Kalo bayangin waktu itu, betul-betul khawatir tinggal 4 minggu hafal sedikit pun belum. Enam halaman panjang.

Ngeliat ini, saya putuskan buat nambah jam lesnya di hari lain. Berlaku juga buat Nathan, yang ndilalahnya, kok mainnya juga malah jadi turun. Sempet gelisah sekali saya liat dua orang ini. Lebih gelisah lagi karena ngebayangin saya akan resign. Gelisah karena ngebayangin hari terakhir saya akan diinget seperti kegagalan.

Ngga ada gunanya pernah juara tiga kali dan juara satu tahun lalu, orang hanya akan ingat yang terakhir kali ditorehkan. Dengan Jessica, bahkan yang diingat pengamalan buruk tahun 2017. Agak patah hati saya ngebayangin kalo 15 tahun saya ngajar seperti ngga keliatan hasilnya.

Kasih jam tambahan itu sulit sekali dari sisi saya. Karena waktu terbatas. Akhirnya saya paksakan untuk kasih mereka waktu tambahan di hari di mana saya punya waktu 1 jam sembari Langit les. Jadi saya drop Langit, lalu lari ngajar 2 orang dan kembali ke jemput Langit, semua dalam waktu 1 jam.

Pernah saya tergoda sekali buat batalin. Apalagi hari tambahannya di hari saya puasa juga. Tapi, alhamdulillahnya otak dan hati cukup keras, sambil marahin diri sendiri, ” Kalo nanti hasilnya ngga bagus, lo akan nyalahin diri sendiri kenapa ngga usaha lebih padahal bisa, cuma karena capek dan lemes. Akan lebih lemes kalo nyesel belakangan,”.

Dua minggu terakhir tensi dan suara saya makin tinggi. Ngga terhitung seringnya saya scolding mereka berdua sampe pucet.

Di hari kamis sebelum kompetisi, Nathan udah ada titik terang. Tapi tidak dengan Jessica. Salah masih banyak, hafalan lumayan tapi masih suka bener-bener blank di tengah jalan, dan yang paling mengkhawatirkan nervousnya juga tinggi sekali. Tiap main pasti tiba-tiba berhenti dan panik sendiri.

Saya terus ingetin dia supaya tenang dan fokus. Ingetin dia kalo hal utama yang harus dia capai hanya main sampai selesai. Itu udah lebih dari cukup. Saya tau enam halaman itu panjang dan dia harus mainkan dengan tempo yang beda, dan notnya cukup sulit, dimana kalo dia salah bisa merembet kemana-mana, meskipun dia juga udah tau teorinya kalo salah yang harus dilakukan adalah jalan terus.

Hari Sabtu gladi resik, saya makin khawatir karena nervousnya dia terasa makin tinggi. Percobaan pertama maju di panggung, gagal total. Bahkan sampe nangis lagi. Saya dan mamanya terus nyemangatin. Di percobaan ke sekian kali saya liat ngga ada perubahan sama sekali. Semua latihannya ketutup sama tingginya nervous dia. Gladi resik awalnya cuma 10 menit. Saya minta ijin lagi ke ibunya buat latihan lagi di ruangan sampai molor jadi 1,5 jam.

Di ruangan saya suruh dia drilling halaman pertama sampe puluhan kali. Bolak balik hanya halaman pertama. Kuncinya hanya itu. Begitu halaman pertama dia aman, pede dia langsung naik drastis. Setelah dirasa cukup halaman pertama, saya suruh dia drilling 4 baris terakhir berkali-kali.

Seperti semua hal dalam hidup, ngga peduli bagaimana kita mulai, tapi yang paling penting adalah bagaimana kita selesai. Begitu juga dengan lagu.

Setelah kurang lebih setengah jam atau empat puluh menit latihan di kelas, emosinya udah lebih tenang, saya ajak dia latihan di showroom bawah pake piano grand di ruangan terbuka. Cukup berhasil. Dia udah lebih tenang, meskipun beberapa spot masih salah-salah. Secara keseluruhan aman, tapi tidak memuaskan.

Setelah dari bawah, saya ajak balik ke ruangan gladi resik. Saya minta dia main bagian yang tengah aja. Bagian yang perlu pedal dan paling aman. Saya larang buat main dari awal sampe akhir. Setelah main dari tengah saya minta dia main halaman pertama dan empat baris terakhir. Setelah itu saya cukupkan dan minta dia pulang buat istirahat.

Ngga nyangka yang awalnya niat saya cuma dateng 15 menit, berakhir jadi 2 jam. Tapi, kalo inget sekarang, saya senang karena udah milih yang benar dibanding yang mudah.

Nathan gimana? Alhamdulillah aman. Setidaknya kalo dia main seperti hari kamis dan sabtu gladi resik, setidaknya satu tempat juara udah dia amankan. (Kok pede? Iya, anaknya juga pede banget gitu mainnya).

Hari Minggu saya bangun dengan perasaaan sedikit khawatir dan banyak pasrahnya. Hari itu akan jadi penentuan bukan cuma buat murid-murid saya, tapi lebih ke diri sendiri. Akhir seperti apa yang (pantas) saya dapatkan?

Semua usaha sudah dilakukan (semaksimal dan semampu saya). Seluruh doa juga ngga berhenti dipanjatkan.

Saya dateng setelah zuhur. Waktu dateng kompetisi sudah dimulai. Biasanya saya masuk ke ruang penonton atau ruang tunggu bareng guru lain. Tapi ini, saya milih buat tunggu di luar yang sepi. Jantung kaya mau copot.

Nathan di kategori B maju duluan. Waktu saya ketemu dia, dia keliatah cukup tenang dan percaya diri yang cukup. Saya pernah ingetin dia, tidak boleh over confident karena itu yang kadang bisa buat hilang fokus. Seperti di beberapa latihannya yang salah di not terakhir.

Saya udah janji buat kali ini saya ngga akan masuk. Saya hanya akan dengar dari luar pintu. Begitu Nathan naik, yang saya bisa kerjain cuma baca Al-ikhlas setengah keras buat nutupin suara mainnya dia yang tetep lebih keras. Ngga berhenti saya doa.

Nathan main dengan bagus sekali. Bersih, powerful, dan rapi.

Seperempat beban diangkat alhamdulillah.

Jarak Nathan ke Jessica cukup jauh. Saya tetap ngga mau masuk ke dalem kursi penonton dan ruang tunggu. Waktu saya masih duduk, Jessica dan mamanya keluar. Mamanya bilang minta keluar dulu.

Saya agak tercekat liat baju yang dia pakai. Seinget saya yang paling minim standarnya dari selama ini dia ikut kompetisi. Kombinasi kaos dress softball selutut yang kalo dia duduk jadi ketarik dan agak pendek, juga sepatu wakai dengan warna senada.

Tapi ya sudah. Ngga ada gunanya meributkan masalah baju ketika ada isu yang lebih besar.

Ketika dia sudah dipanggil ke ruang tunggu, saya masih milih nunggu duduk di luar. Saya rasa waktu itu, saya dan dia punya battle masing-masing yang harus dihadapi sendiri. Dia yang harus melawan trauma dan ketakutannya. Saya yang harus mempersiapkan diri buat nerima kemungkinan terburuk di akhir perjalanan mengajar saya.

Saya masuk ke ruang tunggu ketika giliran dia tinggal 3 lagi. Waktu giliran dia tiba, seperti yang saya lakukan dengan Nathan, dia masuk ke atas panggung, saya keluar dan turun ke bawah tangga di samping. Saya terlalu nervous untuk berdiri di depan pintu seperti yang saya lakukan dengan Nathan.

Detik dia masuk, mulut saya ngga berhenti merapalkan Al-ikhlas. Saya terus baca sampai kadang saya pikir saya berdoa supaya ngga terlalu denger jelas permainan dia. Betul-betul ngga baik buat jantung.

Tentu permainannya tetap terdengar jelas. Dan sedikit tapi pasti, hati saya mulai ringan. Dia berhasil melewati halaman pertamanya dengan baik. Halaman kedua percaya diri naik. Halaman ketiga seperti yang sudah diprediksi adalah yang paling aman. Harapan saya semakin naik ketika di halaman keempat di bagian yang dia selalu miss, dimainkan dengan rapi dan bersih. Zikir saya mulai diganti senyum sambil sedikit nangis.

Halaman kelima dan ke enam, Jesssica seperti balik ke Jessica versi terbaiknya. Bagus sekali penutup yang dia mainkan.

Turun dari panggung dan keluar ruangan, kita berdua berpelukan dan dia bilang, ” aku bisa kak,”.

Ternyata selesai dia main, mama papanya pun juga langsung keluar dengan wajah sumringah sambil ngacungin jempol.

Setelah itu, saya kaya ikan yang dikembalikan ke air.

Tiga perempat dari beban saya sudah diangkat bersih.

Tinggal seperempat terakhir.

Pengumuman pemenang dimulai dari kategori B. Terus terang saya ngga terlalu khawatir. Dengan adanya 6 piala buat kategori B, Nathan hampir pasti dapat salah satunya.

Ketika sampai di pengumuman juara ketiga dan nama dia belum ada, saya agak sedikit khawatir kalo saya bisa aja salah total. Juara kedua diumumkan juga bukan dia.

Nama Nathan akhirnya disebut paling terakhir.

Seperdelapan beban saya diangkat bersih kembali. Setidaknya untuk Nathan dan orangtuanya, saya akan diingat sebagai guru yang selama 2 tahun ngajar dia, ada memori sesignifikan 2 kali kompetisi 2 kali pegang piala juara pertama.

Tiba giliran pengumuman kategori C.

Waktu itu saya ngga inget harus ngharep apa. Mau ngharep menang kok kaya ngerasa ngelunjak, tapi ngharep ga menang juga gimana, mainnya bagus dan lebih dari cukup dibanding lawan-lawannya untuk pegang satu piala.

Ada 4 juara di kategori C. Nama yang disebut pertama bukan Jessica. Masih lega saya. Saya banyak berharap di ketiga dan kedua. Ternyata di ketiga pun bukan dia. Saya mulai sedikit nelen ludah. Harapan saya tinggal sekali lagi.

Nama yang berikutnya disebut juga bukan Jessica dan saat itu saya sudah telen seperdelapan beban terakhir yang ngga bisa hilang di hari terakhir saya.

Saya ngga akan lupa momen dimana ketika MC ngumumin juara pertama.

Sampai ngga bisa kontrol suara dan air mata.

Nathan juara pertama mungkin ngga luar biasa, tapi Jessica bisa juara pertama, di hari terakhir saya, setelah semua senang sedih yang kita lewatin sama-sama selama 7 tahun, setelah kejadian luar biasa dua tahun lalu, saya terlalu bersyukur sekali dianggap pantas nerima hasil akhir sebaik ini. Dan saya benar-benar salut dan bangga sama anak ini. Bisa ngalahin ketakutannya, bisa ngalahin traumanya, dia pantes jadi juara satu. Dia naik ke panggung sambil nangis.

Tidak ada yang lebih menyenangkan dari perasaan lega bisa kasih selamat ke orang tua Jessica dengan level yang sama seperti saya memberi selamat ke orang tua Nathan.

Dengan berakhirnya kompetisi di Minggu, 25 Agustus 2019, berakhir juga perjalanan saya selama 15 tahun di sekolah ini.

Ngga berhenti saya bersyukur buat semua yang dikasih hari itu, jauh di luar dari yang saya berani bayangkan.

Terima kasih untuk epilog ini.

Saya pamit untuk melanjutkan perjalanan.

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

A Beautiful Farewell

One day that deserve, thousands Alhamdulillahs, few words of gratitude.

Today’s marked the very last day after 15 years of teaching and 6 years of competitions by sending two out of two loveliest students a teacher could ask for to be a winner in their category.

To put a cherry on top, both were the first winner.

Month of practices, hard days of scolding (and of course crying), hundred times of notes drilling, endless hours of conversation in that small classroom, they truly deserved the first place. I couldn’t be more grateful to be granted with such farewell.

Participate in competition alone was brave enough. Finished playing until the end, no matter what, that took big amount of courage. To play the piece beautifully and let other enjoy the music, that’s what the first winners do.

Every small win given in my life, the thought went to the one and only person to whom I owe every good things happen in my life with her golden mantra : “Finish what you have started, no matter what it takes. The result is never up to us”.

One who pushed me to stay for 13 years of learning, in spite of my lacking in many things. One who taught that a teacher might never be rich in numbers but it’s surely one of the most rewarding jobs, if you’re doing it right.

A simple thank you and congrats are more than enough to end my long years of teaching day beautifully. After all, we always want to have a happy ending.

Now, guess I can proceed to the next big thing ahead with a lighter heart.

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts, Travel

Travel Babble : A Warm Welcome

I am writing this from 32sqm room in Tanah Bumbu Regency where the doctor will spend a year of compulsory service.

The battle between joined and sent him off first to this place was tough. Days in last week spent by non-stop googling about the ticket price, calculating benefit and risk, lots of conversation happened between head and heart. After long and hard battle inside, finding the best possible route with the least cost,two tickets bought just two days before the departure.

My travel history had never been this nekat. The tickets price might be quite scary for the saving, but regret of not buying them would surely be greater than the pain of paying them.

Unlike the other trips that had been meticulously planned, this one was almost zero, not because it’s a domestic one but more to limitation of information we got in our hand.

There things that are unggogleable no matter how hard you search for them. The only thing to do is just come and see, then let’s see what we can do about them on the spot.

This trip will be another huge challenge for me because I will travel back to home with the little girl only two of us. Two flights, if one doesn’t sound challenging enough. During traveling, I am so dependable with the doctor. He has more patience in dealing with this girl than me. As a lazy person, it takes something really important until I dare to take the risk to do this kind of thing.

I have my number one pray whenever we go places. For us to meet the kind ones to help whenever we are in need. So far, the prays always answered until the least important thing. Paris, London, Manchester, Liverpool, Tokyo, the trips were greatly enjoyable because of those strangers kindness that we could never payback. This Tanah Bumbu trip turned out to be the same.

We booked differently because the doctor didn’t need the return flight. So when we checked in we turned out to have separate seats. Seven rows differences. I had the thought in my mind to ask for switching the seat with the other person so the doctor could sit with us together.

We happened to seat with a man at the same age with my father, maybe, and when he saw we sat in different row, it didn’t take him long to walk to the back of the plane and asked the doctor if he would like to sit with us. That was very kind of him. I didn’t even say any words about switching the seat.

Arrived in Tanah Bumbu we drove with a fellow obgyn doctor. After some talk and believe it or not, in spite of his thick javanese accent, he is a Gorontalonese. You can meet javanese everywhere, padangnese is also pretty common, but it’s a very very rare chance to meet a Gorontalonese in the land of nowhere. I destined to met one here. In this tight schedule trip.

Another one that makes me shivering more, among thousands of remote areas in this country, this land of my dad’s birth land chosen, more spesifically it was where my late grandma’s spent her childhood.

Never, a single path of life, is a mere coincidence. Every thing happens for a reason.

No matter how overrated people think traveling is, but it’s never for me. I had my very first real traveling back in 1993, and its impact was greater and longer beyond a mere going to new places and showing it to others. It developed many things inside of me that I believe they were something that only could be done and got from traveling.

Traveling is always an eye opener to new things that we don’t know and to learn something new is only exciting by seeing something in other places than our comfort zone.

I don’t remember if London and Tokyo made this much babble within seven days of traveling. Tanah Bumbu made it this much only within few hours of arriving.

In spite of the nice words written above, the mess of having long distance marriage is waiting ahead.

Be kind, please, Life.

I am really looking forward to April….

2019.

Posted in Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

Balance is A Myth

Few last months, working schedule has been a lot more hectic and juggling here and there is absolutely unavoidable. Adding another responsibility in the schedule makes other things should be put aside, like my favorite activity watching k-dramas.

In others’ glasses, I looked like having an ideal life by having my own work that I love doing it with flexible schedules (few hours for three days in a week), running a bussiness, taking care the little girl almost alone ( with the help of a half-day helper), taking care three men and house affairs, doing regular exercise, having days off on weekdays, and sufficient income to pay the bills.

I am counting my blessings above.

Now, let’s go to the other side.

With so many things in my hand, I should wake up very early in the morning than before and sleep later than I used to be. Working in the morning till mid-day, going home first to feed the little girl and flying again to another work. 

For few these months, every day in a whole week is a working day from morning till afternoon. As a newbie, running a bussiness feels like having endless working hours, dealing with customers, feeling anxiety about sales, finding solutions to any existing problems, keep thinking any possible ways to survive, and many more. It’s been ages since lazy weekend is available.

The consequences of such schedule, being tired once I got home is unavoidable and the little girl often has to pay for it. Compromising with her lunch since I have been too tired to feed her (a proper meal), allowing her to watch Gummy Bear more than the limit (what can I do?), or refusing to read her a book since I was too sleepy or I just wanted to lie down while scrolling my twitter timeline. I often compromised with her stuff but rarely did it to mine.

Even right now, while writing this, I am neglecting her main course breakfast, putting aside washing her meals utensils, and tidying up the breakfast table and other things that should be done now instead of typing this babbling just because I really want to write.

So, actually, when some people asked me how I got the balance between works and motherhood, I sneered and answered,

“Who said it was balance? It’s a mess,”

You can’t be very good in everything that you do alone all at once. Something must have been compromised for other things. When you can do things freely and leisurely outside then you must have someone to take care the house stuff and the kids at home. There’s no possible way to do everything on your own. When you spent more time outside dealing with works, it’s impossible to have the exact same amount to spend with the kids.

Quality over quantity? Hm.. I don’t think so.

I won’t write any excuses here and everything written above is purely pointed to my own nose. Everytime I feel so tired and like quitting these all, I remembered my mother. How she had been juggling harder, dealing with three little children, took turn with my father working in the evening after all day long taking care the house stuff, more she cooked everything alone from the very scratch.

I wondered how she could be still sane. Taking care one child even feels more than enough for me and fiuh, cooking is not my happy playground.

When I refered to her, balance seems to be real and exist, until I remembered how hard it had been to be her daughter, hahaha.

But, those hardships she had been given to me brought more advantages in the future than I could think of. I am forever grateful to her. Thus, I really want to keep up with her standard. She was surely neglecting some of our stuffs, she surely had her own regret, but she was never being ignorant and a quitter. Those are two things that I have too, gladly.

Knowing it’s been hard and even will be harder, quitting any of them is not an option unless if I really have to. It’s a better time management that should be done when you’re having more responsibilities, not omit one existed when you have a newer one.

Although an ideal balance is pretty impossible to achieve, being certain and believe these things are worth fighting for is enough to keep going. No greatness and grand result achieved by doing nothing. 

So, let’s keep going with such mess, shall we?

Have a nice day!

Posted in Past learning, Thoughts

Another August,Another Lesson

August has been well known as the most unfriendly month of the year for me. Many of real life plot twists take place on this month.

This year August brought its best lesson once again. It showed the truth of the saying, ” what’s not meant to be yours, will never be yours in any possible ways, beyond your calculation”. 

No matter how much and how long you work hard for it, no matter how many advantages you (thought you) had in your hand, it would never be you who decided the result.

A lesson came through this year’s YPC. This one student is a good one, and she was a third time winner in previous YPC. Three times of her participations, she went home with a trophy. She had a break last year for her school exam and re-entered this year.

YPC usually takes place in the beginning of the year. Between February or March. But, this year, it unusually took place in August. Maybe this was the beginning of the twist. 

She chose her song, practiced it well, since May, and around late July, another hint came. Among nine participants in her category, another one would play the very same piece like one she had. 

She was quite taken aback since time for practising was running out. We decided to change the song twice until she decided she would keep going with the first since she felt the most comfortable with that song. She didn’t find this thing a problem. 

She changed her song thrice too for her last competition. It was when I was having maternity leave and she changed teacher three times too. Albeit the short time of practising the new chosen song, she still went home as one of the winners.

This year’s song is October from Tchaikovsky and it was one of my favorite classical pieces. I had prepared this song for her since quite some time once she entered C category. She had some difficulties but still she nailed it. Until the very last day of training, she played very well. I kept encouraging her that she had the very same big chance to win as she did in her previous category.

All she had to do was playing well.

The competition day, she wore a very nice white dress and she looked pretty nervous but I still considered it normal. The boy who played the same piece with her was number three, she was number nine. I told to her to stay away when the boy played. I stayed and listened.

The boy played the piece very neatly, perfect dynamic, and without any single mistakes. But , compared to this girl from what we have during months of the practice sessions, it sounded emotionless. I felt quite worry as well as a bit confidence that she would do better.

I still clearly remembered what happened that Sunday. She started her playing hesitantly. She missed the first most important bar. But, the hope was still there. Then, she made another small mistake, but still kept going. Not for long, then, it happened.

Five years of YPC, maybe that was the first time this thing happened among every category in this competition. The first plot twist happened.

She stopped playing and ran away from the stage while saying, “I couldn’t go on, I really couldn’t do it,”.

She cried. 

I did too inside. 

I knew both of us were totally having a severe broken heart by this circumstance.

She went straight home with her parents. I stayed until the announcement. When it was her category’s turn, I heard the fourth, third, and the second winner from outside the hall and planned to go home. I thought yah, at least the boy didn’t get it too.

I just walked few steps when the MC announced the first winner of C category.

That boy’s name was called.

If only there were something that could describe how I felt on that minutes, I would gladly write it all.

But, there wasn’t any. This second plot twist was beyond my wildest imagination, and it was surely too painful.

We did ALL our best for the last 4 months, every single thing that I thought could help her, we did it everything.

I could still accept she ran away from the stage knowing her pressure was quite high, but the fact that the very same song won as the first winner, yah, it was truly truly heart-breaking.

The rest of Sunday spent silently. Trying to accept everything. Trying to let go and denying once in a while, thinking about some ifs, but finally gave up.

This year was never ours since the very beginning. The best thing was, we bet all our best in this fight.

I was so blessed having this week as the fifth week so no lesson for this week. I knew we both wouldn’t be too ready to face each other this soon.

There’s always a blessing in disguise in every misfortune.

I have my plan to talk to her next week. I hope she won’t be being so devastated about this.

Really, if something is yours, nothing can keep it to make it away. If something isn’t yours, nothing will make it stay.

I learned my lesson. I hope she did too. And we will come back stronger than before.

Thank you (not thank you), August.

Posted in Maternité, Past learning, Review, Thoughts

Parents’ Dream : A Piece of Lesson from Dangal

I know it’s quite late. Dangal was on the theatre few months ago. But, actually it wasn’t kind of movie which dominated all studios in every cinema like the one with superheros on it. If I am not mistaken, Dangal was only available in very few certain cinemas in South Jakarta.

I finished watching it yesterday with the doctor on Netflix and I have been repeating some of its scenes on my head. A great movie always stays longer on your head and probably forever in your heart. Dangal has those two possibilities.

It was one based on true story about Indian wrestling athlete who once fought for the country for Olympic and had to be satisfied with silver medal. The thirst for gold medal haunted him for a long time until he decided that one of his children should take the same path like him and accomplished what he’d been dreaming of.

It turned out that his first child was a girl. He tried again then the second turned to be a girl too. Until the fourth child, all he had were girls.

One certain conflict trigerred this father to start training his two oldest daughters to become a wrestler. He trained Geeta and Bambita hard. Started early in the morning, trained them like a professional wrestler. These girls, no matter how unhappy they were with their father doing, they kept going with the training. They tried to fail the plan sometimes and they failed miserably.

Although all of his family were against the idea, including the girls’ mother, he kept going. He asked his wife to give him a year to train the girls. If there were no result, then he would give up his dream forever.

I won’t tell a whole story here and of course, the movie goes like we expect. It’s truly worth your 2,5 hours of time watching it. Unlike my husband, I am rarely into a movie. Unlike dramas, movie often makes me sleep.

I survived Dangal from the first minute until its last credit title. Some tissues surely needed while watching it.

————————————————
One of the reasons why I survived Dangal until the very end, and more, even take some time to write a post about this, because it reminds me of some familiar moments.

I was once Geeta and Bambita with a mother like their father. Although the achievement is nothing compared to those girls and their father, I experienced similar things like those two girls went through until the very end. I felt like re-watching my thirteen years of life in the past while watching Dangal.

When the father unachieved dream was about Olympic gold medal, my mother’s was piano. She had been dreaming of being able to play piano for a long time. Until my father gave up one of his Vespas to buy her a decent upright piano. Right after marriage, she started learning privately at home. But, not for long, she was pregnant with me and her pregnancy wasn’t the easy one.

She stopped learning for some time until she had a chance to resume her lesson, after her second child was born. She waited that long. But, again, being a working mom with two little babies were surely not easy. She told me whenever she had her lesson when my sister was sleeping, this little baby suddenly woke up and refused to go back to sleep. Again, she finally had to give up her private lesson.

It wasn’t my mom if she gave up easily. Once we were older, she started searching for a music school to learn. She came to one of music schools in Manggarai, and asking some information to join a piano course. The administrator laughed at her and said they only had and allowed piano course for children age 5-12, maximum, if they hadn’t learned anything before. She came home with a blank form with her.

I was only five when this happened and on my third years in kindergarten due to unsufficient age to enroll primary school. For certain reason, my mother thought it might be boring to spent three years in kindergarten and it was better for me to have something other than school. Then, with such thought, she enrolled me to that music school.

She told me later, if she couldn’t manage to play piano at all, then at least she could see her daughter (and all her children actually. Three of us went to the music school) plays.

Similar to the father in Dangal, she too didn’t have the support from her husband, my father. My father was against the idea thinking it would be burdensome to pay for another bill while it wasn’t compulsory. There were three of us already. For an ordinary government employee, supporting five people was surely hard already.

But, again, it wasn’t my mum if she gave up easily. She stood firm to her decision, told my father that she wouldn’t ask a penny from him to pay the monthly tuition. Luckily, she was working and had her own money too. She even told him, she wouldn’t bother him about sending me to the school. She would take all the responsibilities about this.

She really meant what she said. I still remembered clearly, she sent me to the music school in a bright hot day, by public transport, while bringing her two other children along. My brother was only one at that time.

We walked from home to the nearest public transport stop, about fifteen minutes, put my brother’s stroller in a small warung, then got on a mikrolet until terminal and changed to bajaj to the music school. It went the same for the return trip. Bajaj until terminal, a mikrolet until the residence gate, took the stroller from the warung and walked home. She had been doing that for at least five or six years until my father started to take part in our music course.

I couldn’t imagine how she kept surviving all those hassles,bringing three little children in a hot bright day, by public transport,  twice a week, for a mere 20-minutes piano lesson. Yes, TWENTY MINUTES ONLY EACH LESSON TWICE A WEEK. For this part, I think my mother won a big time over Geeta and Bambita’s father.

She might not be able to train me like the Dangal father, but she never skipped any single lesson for whatever reason. If there were any, I couldn’t remember it at all. It was very similar to the father who never skipped a single morning and afternoon training for his daughters. Although she couldn’t play at all, she accompanied me practising at home. Made a practice schedule daily and sat right next to me.

Similar to Geeta and Bambita, I wasn’t too happy too with such training. It was hard and I came to tell my mother cried and said I wanted to quit. But, she kept telling me to go on and said to finish what I had started.

I won’t repeat the whole story about this since I have written an old post about this here. What I want to point is what my mother and this Dangal father did.

Unlike the recent parenting trend where parents are told better not to push the children to do something related to their ambitions, both parents were doing the opposite way.

I think, with the right nature and nurture, parents who push their ambition, as long as it is something good and worth fighting for, it could give the children something beyond what they could think of.

For many aspects in life, parents know better. They could see something beyond what the children could see. Sometimes, they have to drag the children to the roughest path for them to be able to find a great treasure. But, what some parents forget is they have to go through the same rough path as well and not letting the children go alone.

If it weren’t because of her father, Geeta and Bambita would never ever felt such great feeling standing on the highest podium, with a gold medal on their neck, while hearing (and singing) their national anthem played in a world sport event around the world. Not only for their own pride, but the gave the glory to their country.

Mine was surely very far from what they achieved. But, the feeling of accomplishing something well after long and hard years of trainings, litre of sweat and tears, days and weeks of lack of goodnight sleep, ton of patience, determination, and strong persevereance, I was lucky to be able to feel such feeling thanks to my mother. One of the best feeling I have ever felt in my life.

Dangal told you something about raising a (champion) child : There’s no easy way to avhieve good results in parenting. If you feel it’s easy and relaxing, then it’s almost certain that you are not doing it right.

The children might have hard times to keep up with such parents. But, what I came to understand after being a parent, it was the parents who have a harder and the hardest times. Watching the father massaged the girls feet while they were sleeping, cooking them chicken so they could have more protein to fight well, staying close to the national camp so he could train them early in the morning, booking a whole cinema to watch all Geeta’s matches so he could analyze where she failed, and many more.

My mother had been through the same thing and might be harder. When Geeta and Bambita were surely talented, it wasn’t the case for me. No matter how often harsh comments she received from the teacher about how untalented I was, she swallowed it all and kept going.

Whenever exam period came, she woke me up at 3 am and accompanied me to practice until subuh. Then, twice a week, she sent me to the music school at 7 pm for repclass and my father would pick me up at 12 am. Midnight. For a whole two months every year. She was with me to go through everything until the very end.

I surely have a big doubt if I will be able to keep up with such boldness to my own children. To fight myself to do something right over something easy is a hard work. Even if I feel I have already done and tried hard, sometimes it is just myself who wants to justify the less-effforts work I have done.

So, If you haven’t watched it, Dangal is a recommended one to spend 2,5 hours of quality time with your family. It’s absolutely on my a must watch list to watch it with Langit later insya Allah.

Happy watching!

Posted in Langit Senja, Maternité, Past learning, Thoughts

THR Anak

Salah satu momen lebaran yang paling ditunggu waktu kecil itu pas dapet THR. Wangi uang baru yang mengkilat itu salah satu bau yang paling enak selain bau airport. Apalagi almarhum kakek saya pensiunan pegawai BI. Ngga usah lebaran, tiap main ke rumahnya, kantong baju kokonya penuh dengan uang baru. Receh ngga masalah yang penting baru dan wangi, dan kita hampir ngga pernah pulang dengan dompet kosong.

Di keluarga saya, ada tradisi yang paling tua dapet lebih banyak dari yang lain. Semakin muda ya semakin dikit. Saya kombinasi cucu paling tua dari anak tertua. Mantap bener kalo udah lebaran. Bedanya sama yang paling kecil jauh. Beda nominal uangnya😄

Saya berapa kali memperhatikan orangtua yang anaknya masih kecil dan belum ngerti uang menganggap jatah THR anak itu adalah untuk orangtua. Saya agak janggal dengan ini.
 
Dari dulu, sejak saya sadar arti dan jumlah uang, semua uang yang didapat itu pasti masuk tabungan. Ibu saya buat tabungan untuk kami bertiga masing-masing. Saya inget banget itu di bank pemerintah bisa buat tabungan dengan nama anak dengan QQ orangtuanya. Jadi, setiap lebaran atau ulang tahun semua uang yang kami terima ngga ada yang masuk ke orangtua saya. Semua masuk ke tabungan masing-masing. Boleh diambil seperlunya kalo ada yang mau dibeli.

Menurut saya memang seharusnya seperti itu ya. Itu bukan punya orangtua. Dikasih jelas ke anaknya. Jadi, buat saya agak aneh kalo ada orangtua yang ‘ngambil’ THR anaknya hanya karena anaknya belum ngerti atau cukup umur.

Sejak lebaran pertama Langit tiga tahun lalu, semua uang yang didapat saya masukan satu tabungan yang jarang diotak-atik. Meskipun masih pakai nama saya, tapi hampir semua uang di dalamnya uang Langit. Rencana saya ketika dia sudah ngerti uang, akan saya buatkan tabungan sendiri. Tahun ini jumlahnya sudah lumayan banget. Karena ngga pernah dibeliin apa-apa juga. 

Tapi, sejak beberapa hari lalu, saya pikir kenapa harus semuanya disimpen terus. Mungkin akan lebih terasa kalo dia juga bisa nikmatin sesuatu dari uangnya. Saya sudah tau kira-kira baiknya dibelikan apa. Cuma kurang tau persis harganya berapa. Saya ngga mau dibelikan mainan kecil-kecil yang cuma berakhir dipretelin dan rusak gitu aja. Budgetnya agak tinggi ngga masalah karena jumlah uang yang udah disimpen selama tiga tahun pun lumayan. Yang jelas ngga dihabiskan semua.

Saya jarang belikan mainan karena ngga tahan berantakannya. Biasanya juga abis dibeliin, mainin sebentar, bosen trus udah. Makanya lebih rela beli yang ngga mahal dibanding yg murah tapi cuma jadi remah-remah. Boneka sama sekali ngga pernah. Semua boneka pasti karena dikasih. ‘Mainan’ paling banyak yang saya semangat beliinnya buku karena memang Langit juga suka.

Rumah saya hanya sekitar 10-15 menit dari pasar mainan anak-anak yang terkenal tapi belum pernah sama sekali kesana sampai kemarin. Setelah cek di internet harganya lumayan, kami putuskan untuk coba cek di pasar ini kalo aja bisa lebih murah.

Ternyata ngga banyak yang jual. Setelah datengin beberapa toko dan dapet rekomendasi ternyata hanya dua toko yang jual. Toko pertama jual 200 ribu lebih murah dari toko kedua. Biarpun saya memang udah niat, tapi kebiasaan pasti pas mau beli mikir lagi. Biarpun ini memang uangnya Langit dan yakin dia bisa nikmatin dalam jangka waktu yang cukup lama, bisa dimainin bareng-bareng juga kalo sepupu-sepupunya datang. Jadi sebenernya nilai tambahnya cukup banyak.

Akhirnya abis baca bismillah berapa kali, dibayar juga. Lega. Liat muka Langit abis dipasang dan bisa dimainin tambah lega. Apalagi ternyata ada mainan lain seperti ring basket dan xylofonnya. Dua hal yang Langit suka juga. Makin ngga nyesel udah beli. Seneng banget rasanya beli sesuatu yang dia bisa bener-bener nikmatin.

Hasil dari THR tiga tahun berubah jadi tiga hal yang Langit suka : perosotan, basket, dan xylofon.

Hal lain yang juga jadi nilai plus dari pembelian ini adalah ngga perlu repot-repot nungguin playground TK depan rumah buka buat main perosotan. Juga ngga perlu ke taman buat main basket sama abg-abg. Semua senang.

Jadi, meskipun space rumah lebih sempit, tabungan lebih sedikit, tapi hati lebih penuh. 

Selamat main, bayi kecil!